Psychoanalyzed by Medic...
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| Fri, 10-24-2008 - 12:21pm |
Ok, I'm not so sure how much I should really put into this whole thing... but he made me bawl my eyes out and I think there might be a bit of truth to it I don't know.
First of all Medic is moving away to be closer to his kids.. 3 hours away. So its finally over for good.
So he says to me today... You put up such a front. You appear to be the most amazing and wonderful happy woman when really on the inside you're just a miserable rotten person. I was like what?? You think I'm miserable and rotten? I said that I do admit to being much more of a sad person since June when Heartbreaker ended things.. and Medic interupted and said "And your ex-husband got remarried". And I just burst out crying. I said its not him, I'm not upset about him moving on. I'm just jealous that someone so rotten and horrible to me who mentally abused me for years can run off and live happily ever after while I just sit here miserable and alone. Medic says.. YOU make yoursel miserable and alone, its YOUR own fault you're miserable and alone.
So anyway, I just started crying and couldn't stop. I'm like am I really a miserable rotten person? When people get close enough to me do they see that or something? I'm just venting here guys lol.. sorry.
I have a POF coffee date on Sunday. I think I'm in desperate need of the breath of fresh air in my life whether its just for the afternoon or leads to something more. I am definatly in a funk and I've got to find my way out.. but I don't think miserable and rotten quite describes me right now lol. But wow.. being torn apart by medic really hurt :(

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