QOTW - casual sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
QOTW - casual sex
17
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 10:14am

Hi to all:

There was an interesting topic going on another board so I thought I would get your thoughts.

Do you believe in sex as part of the casual dating process?

I encourage everyone to offer their opinion -

Cheers!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 8:24pm
we get tested for hiv and no they usually go on their own. you can go together though. i knew mine went cause the lady there told me she talked to him. ha just by describing his looks, etc. she was really nice. ha
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 8:46pm

Okay - good to know. Do you ever worry about herpes?

I have been tested for HIV for insurance purposes recently - don't have it - and have not been with anyone in 2.5 years. So I know I am okay!!

Dating for me in my 20s was so much easier than today - HIV and herpes were not mainstream - never heard of them at that time. Everything you could catch could be cured. And since the whole sex/pill thing was new, every guy wanted to go "steady" and if you did have sex you would have a relationship - no such thing as FWB or booty calls. What a different world that was!!!!!

I have had a lot to learn since my divorce over 5 years ago - after 10 years of marriage!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 8:55pm

oh well i guess i don't worry about other diseases. i just keep a close eye on things if you know what i mean!! haha how can you not if the sex is good!!! ha i guess i just worry about hiv cause it can kill you. you would be so shocked at the stories i've heard and people i know who don't even think about it. and have casual sex or start relationships with new people never knowing. i just don't feel comfortable since i have a child. i have to think about him too.

what is fwb? i know none of these abbreviations you guys use on here for diff. people. ha

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 07-15-2005 - 8:57pm
FWB = friends with benefits
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 07-16-2005 - 2:48am

Herpes is not always detectable to the eye, and even if there are no breakouts, it can still be passed on to you. So be careful. You can get a herpes test done at the same time as HIV. They don't automatically do it though, it's a different kind of test so you need to ask for it. Just ask them to test you for all STD's including HIV.

I guess the real point here is: know your partner before you have sex. Committment or no committment, it isn't safe to sleep with someone you don't know well or can't trust. And if you're going in to get tested, might as well cover all the bases, for your sanity and his! ;)

good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 07-16-2005 - 7:42am
Good point, Gabriella!! I am glad you brought that up with us.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 7:57am

You always get a kick out of my stories. LOL

Well.... It sooooooo happens, that I was sitting at a Cafe and on the phone breaking up with "the Stalker foot fetish guy", remember him? Maybe not. Anyhow... when I was reading the latest text outloud, that the stalker foot fetish guy sent to me, to my girlfriends. It went something like " you don't deserve anyone that is good to you and certainly not me.". I was laughing at the time, when this guy (GORGEOUS; I MIGHT ADD) leans into me and whispers in my ear that he would be interested in knowing a heart breaker like me. THEN! I mean, before I could even respond....A student of mine walks by and he suddenly yells for her and she walks up to him. I looked at her, then him and THEN I KNEW WHO IT WAS, I looked into the parking lot and saw the Porsche; his with his initials. It was her brother!! The one I knew all about as being this HUGE player and woman chaser. Well, she introduced us and then we both realized who we were. That is when it got really really interesting. We dated for awhile but nothing happened. I wouldn't let it. I made him wait 3 months, before deciding if he was the perfect FWB material; he was. LOL. No one ever made him wait that long and then it was on my terms. So, we became friends first and then the sex was the total added bonus. Matter of fact, tonight, after dinner with my boss, I have my FWB as my dessert.

To make it even more delicious. His birthday is 2 days before me(scorpion, through and through), he's 5 years younger, successful, sexy and fun. He's very upset about me leaving. He said we have to spend as much time as we possibly can before I go. I just don't have that time, but I think it's reallly sweet.

And that is the story to that......... The End.

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