QOTW: Dating Rules

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
QOTW: Dating Rules
9
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 4:14pm

I saw this question on another board, with a lively discussion, and thought it would be good for us.

Part 1: Do you have any rules for dating - like avoiding people with certain names, or in certain professions? Or certain situations?

I have a few rules:
1) Never date anyone who is not "ready now" for a relationship - this means not living permanently here, being separated, rehabbing from something
2) No addictions
3) No money ills

I don't think I would nix anyone because of a profession, but I probably would not date anyone in the military or who is a cop. I might also have a time of it if someone had the same name as my exh!!

Part 2: Would you ever break those "rules"?
I have broken those rules and that is why I am here!!

signature
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 4:41pm
I agree with all of yours. I won't date someone who doesn't share my religious faith. My SO doesn't attend church services, but we both believe in the same thing. I just like the fact that religion isn't a touchy subject for us, because we both agree on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 11:24pm

I wouldn't date someone whose marriage ended because they had cheated or abandoned their family. No dads who don't pay child support or see their kids. If they show evidence of having poor relationship/family values, why would they be any different with me?

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 12:56am

After my ex, my rules were:

1) no guy who is living with his parents, I don't care what the circumstances are
2) no drug or alcohol addictions or past addictions
3) no guy that bounced around from job to job, was on welfare or worker's comp

so... basically EVERYTHING my ex was, I wouldn't go there again. LOL

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 1:05pm

Oh yes, I have several rules. Some of them may seem superficial, but I can't help myself!

1) Absolutely no drug addiction or recreational use of drugs of any kind.
2) Alcohol- no addiction and no heavy social use either - too many drinks with dinner - getting drunk at parties -no thanks.
3) College education
4) Same general spiritual beliefs or no preference.
5) Must be taller than me.
6) Must not be married!
7) Must not be a total slob.
8) Must not be lazy.
9) Must not exhibit bad hygiene, including teeth.
10) Must be employed, or living independently & monetarily responsible.

I could go on...but, those are the important ones. I also have found from experience that it is easier to date someone from the same socio-economic and family type background as me.

Yes, I have broken the rules, and it was a disaster all three times.

Can you post a link to the board with this discussion, I'd like to check it out. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 1:31pm

LOL! I guess I'm a little superficial too- I could not date a guy shorter than me, I'm short enough!!! I was set up on a blind date with a guy that was shorter than me, and I just couldn't wait for the night to be over! LOL!

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 2:32pm

Thanks for your list - I agree with that one totally!!

Here is that link:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-psdatesingle&msg=5670.1&ctx=128

signature
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 2:49pm

Oh! I forgot about the name and profession thing...

I don't really have anything against names. I've dated 3 Michael's in my past (one was my exhusband). My SO's name is NOT Michael, though, thank goodness. :)

Professions? I don't think I would be too concerned about what they did, as long as they enjoyed it and it was ethical. EXCEPT, I don't think I could live with someone who kills animals or conducts chemical lab testing on animals.

I've dated a marine, police officer and firefighters, engineers, teachers, mortgage brokers, high tech, a millionaire - not sure if he worked, a ship captain, salesmen...




Edited 6/20/2005 2:59 pm ET ET by orange_clouds
Avatar for incognito_mosquito
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 3:36am

I don't have any issues with names but here are my rules:

1. No military
2. No substance abuse issues (casual use of any legal substances is ok. marijuana is legal to use here, BTW.)
3. Athiest/agnostic/non-religious only
4. Must NOT want to have children of his own, and childless guys are preferred
5. No antiquated notions about gender roles
6. Must be politically liberal.

I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of for now. The guy I've been seeing for the last five months fits all of my requirements, and it's been going great so far. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2005
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 8:30am

  • must be stable in all aspects of his life (no substance abuse, good job, responsible, etc.)
  • must be a positive person
  • must take care of himself. Not a gym ridden man, but someone that keeps healthy, good hygiene and cares about his looks (dresses nice, shaves, keeps hair short or shaved)
  • multi-task man that can balance career and family
  • prefer large family, so would like a man who has kids
  • no long distance or gone weeks or months on end for the job
  • no man that left his wife by having an affair or doesn't take care of his children. (same category as responsible)