QOTW: how many fish in your pond?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
QOTW: how many fish in your pond?
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Fri, 05-04-2007 - 11:37am

Soonee mentioned a good topic in the About You thread. Are there plenty of available men in your age group? If not, what do you think is the reason?

What is your age group?
Do you feel there are plenty of men or almost no men to date?

For me, this is a big issue - I am 45 and it seems all the men my age want 18 to 35 for their age group. Many have a lot of red flags in their profiles. And few are fit. I want fit and active, not the type of person who is a couch potato or who goes out drinking late at night. So, for me, I feel like there is not many. I am being patient and getting out there and doing OLD so there is hope. Right?

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 11:46am
WHAT IS IT WITH MEN that are over 40 looking for women 18-35? HONESTLY, isn't 18-25 just a bit young? I just think it's ridiculous. Drives me INSANE! I get hit on by alot of men over 40 but also under 30, but rarely men in their 30's. Guess they just aren't divorced yet. LOL. I have dated some 40 something hunks and some not so hunky but more chunky 40+'s. I am not ready to date someone 10 years older then myself. I don't know if I ever will.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 12:58pm

For some reason I cannot fathom more than 10 years my senior. They look like my dad. There are a few exceptions of men in their 50s who are very athletic that I see at races - and they would be okay. I really want someone my own age - not a lot younger and not a lot older.

I also think that as we age we develop all sorts of interests that become incompatible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 1:13pm

well, there just isn't a pond in my area. I think the reason I haven't met anyone for so long is geographical. I asked one of my married friends the other day, god am I ugly or something?? She goes to beauty school, and girls in her class are anywhere from 20 -40, and the single ones all say the same thing, there just aren't any decent men in this area. I know so many other women, I go to shool with who all the say the same thing.. I don't want to go OLD to someone 100's of miles away, this is where I live, but jees, there are just no good single men around here...

Florence

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 1:30pm
I admit I have browsed a few sites just in the age group I am in...not for NOW, but just to see what is out there and what type of chance I might have to find love if Shane and I don't make it. They seems to be looking within the appropriate age limit, but there are many who do not want kids or are not sure. That makes me nervous that so many out there my age or older...I'm 34 have not made up their minds about that. I'm not giving up my kids for anyone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 1:36pm

Some days it seems like there are many many fish in my pond and other days... not so much.

I rarely meet men in my age group or older... (i'm 34). Infact I rarely meet guys over 30. I think it's because I look so much younger. The age range that I seem to date is 22-30 and 27 being the most frequent. I live in a Navy area so in reality there are MANY men, I just need to keep getting out there and being open. I'll admit that sometimes I start going to the same places over and over... that will limit my pool for sure.... Like this weekend, Birdie wants to go to the usual but I'm not so sure... after all it is Cinco De Mayo... there's got to be a party or happening thing going on somewhere new. (haven't heard from beachguy and may be saying NEXT... in case anyone was curious, I never heard back from Hottie so I said NEXT on that one, too. There's still a chance I'll run into ChurchBus guy tonight or Sunday at church.)

When I'm done pouting....lol...(like i am at the moment)... I feel there are plenty of fish in my area.

Loonybunny

Avatar for mom2maggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 2:44pm

There are plenty of fish in my pond - just not many I'd consider a good catch.

I guess I'm one of the 30 somethings who attracts the 40 somethings. I'm 32 and the man I'm dating is 46. The few other men who have seemed most interested lately are all in their 40's as well. Men closer to my age seem to either not have their act together, are married, or are ready to run to the altar - which I am not a willing participant in that race.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 2:46pm
LOL! I can write a book about living near a military base. I am my worst enemy, so at the moment I am putting myself through SHEEER TORTURE. I'm an X military brat. A military man for me makes me drool. I mean, really drool. I love short hair, not bald, but military short. Anything past that makes me almost gag. Sometimes I think it's unfortunate, but I look younger then I am. I'm 35 and most people take me for 24-28. So I attract men 21-28. When I go to the Beach we have Fort Brag and Camp Lejeune so I am between Army, Navy and Military. Heaven I tell you. Beautiful men baring the chest. LOL. I just keep on very dark glasses, put on a hat and try not to look, because I know I will fall into temptation. And (as I slap my own wrists) I mumble to myself like a crazy woman that they are too young, always deployed and just not in the same mode of life as I am. But it's HARD I tell ya! It's HARD. booo hoo. I try to just surf my waves and forget the glistening bodies in the sun. lol.
I never seem to find a nice 30'ish guy, but then again always the one's who are 10-25 years my senior. And most look like SLOBS! Please! Guys, take care of yourself. If you want a knock out woman, get yourself in knock out shape. GEESH. Don't contact me if you have yesterdays lunch on your shirt, not clean shaven, and a stomach that looks like your carrying 20 kegs of beer, smoking a few packs the day and haven't moved a muscle in about two decades. My XF was not in the best of shape and I didn't mind the extra pounds, but not when it gets down right unhealthy because you stuff yourself with chicken wings and beer every day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 2:56pm

My observations-

I am 26, which is young and at a great age for dating. I am also divorced with two young children. This makes it difficult for me to find people near my age that I have much in common with. Not only men, but also women. Nearly all of my friends are in their 40s, and the men I've dated have been 25-50.

My ideal age range has been 30-40, and funnyguy is 35. There are more men in this age range who have been married, had other long term relationships, are decided about whether they want (more) children, and understand that life means being steady as well as being fun.

For me, men my age are simply way too immature. I am into going out and having fun on occassion, but I don't want it to be my only hobby, and I don't want to do it every week. I like other things too, like skiing, music, bowling, reading, etc... and drinking just isn't one of my priorities.

So, I guess there are probably plenty of men, just none I was ever interested in, or that would be compatible with my lifestyle.

Moody, whose pond is more of a puddle now


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Registered: 01-05-2004
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 3:42pm

I have dated guys from 27 to 41 and I'm 31. I have dated more guys that have been in my age range than not. However, I have dated some that were close to 40 and were still "players". I'm just like, hello! And of course they want a woman in their 20s. The pool of mean in my area are mostly college or retirement age. I live in a very booming college town so there are a lot of younguns out there. lol Then you have the men in their 50s. I don't want to go past the 10 years my senior mark. I really don't want to date a guy that is much younger than myself either. I still look outside of my area for possible matches on OLD but they would have to want to move to where I live because I'm not moving because this is where my son goes to school and where the families live.

It's funny, an applicant that I had spoken with a few months ago (and he was the reason I got back on Match) said that he was trying to look for a job in the NOVA area because that is where is fiance lived. Right now he lives in NC, moved there from NY. Anyway, he said that he was selling his house and moving there to her because she had a child. I was thinking to myself...there are still men out there that will do this for a woman he loves!! lol This guy is probably in his late 30s, early 40s. I was impressed to say the least. :)

Jennifer

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 3:45pm
I agree. I have met some great men. Real sweeties. However, for one reason or another I just didn't take it a step further, but I have friends who have met wonderful men that treat them like princesses, so they are out their. I don't need to be treated like a princess, but I would like to meet someone that I wake up too that isn't coyote ugly and hay for brains.

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