QOTW- Surrogacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
QOTW- Surrogacy
7
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 11:46pm

Ok, I had a really interesting conversation with a friend of mine today.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: cl_alison
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 11:56pm

I absolutely enjoyed being pregnant in the past! If I was MUCH younger and my life situation could handle it, I might. But in all honesty, I would most likely not. I'm just not sure if I could go through all of the intimacy of pregnancy and birth- and then not have a baby to keep.

But with my age and my currently growing uterine fibroid... there is NO way I would/could try being a surrogate for someone right now even if I wanted to.

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
In reply to: cl_alison
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:35am

I had what could be called the world's easiest pregnancies and labors. There were a few complications during my pregnancy with my daughter, but nothing major, and neither labor lasted longer than 5 hours. (Ducking now)

I know for a fact that if a close friend asked me to surrogate, I'd do it. In fact, I've thought seriously about donating my eggs, which isn't at all the same, but also something I'd do with little to no hesitation.

As for being in the child's life, I think since I would surrogate for a friend, I'd naturally be in the child's life in some way. I wouldn't want any more or less interaction with that child than any other child of a friend. I also don't think I'd get overly attached, as I'd go into knowing what I was doing and with no designs on this child.

It's funny, both times I was pregnant, I didn't want to be- with my son I was incredibly young, and with my daughter, my young marriage was already on the rocks- but didn't actually mind being pregnant, if that makes sense. Obviously once I actually had the children I was enamoured- but they were MINE. Maybe being a surrogate would be a good option for me, given the opportunity, as I really have no desire to raise another child, yet wouldn't mind bearing one.

Now, if a coworker or someone I knew but not closely asked, I'd have to think about it- but really, as long as I felt they'd be a good parent- and who am I to judge?-, I'd probably still do it.

Moody, not really thinking of babies


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: cl_alison
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 8:10am

I could not. For a number of reasons.

First, my age. I am too old (45) to be a good medical risk.

Second, my one and only pregnancy with DS was hard for me because I was so sick the whole time - if it wasn't nausea, it was intense heartburn. So I would not willingly sign up for that experience!!

Third, I would never want to give away my own baby - would always wonder if it was ok and would feel very guilty because I feel that I am the best mom for my own flesh and blood. And no matter the source for the eggs and sperm, if it grows in me, it is from me.

Fourth, there are enough unwanted babies and children in this world that they can adopt and they don't need me. So, that is their problem and not mine. I have enough to worry about with me and my son; my loyalties stay inside this home.

To me, while it seems that it is so wonderful to donate and help, this is just too deep and emotional in the end to be good for me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: cl_alison
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 9:26am
My pregnanices were fairly easy and labor and delivery was even easier for me. However, I know that I couldn't have a baby and then not want to keep him or her. I also agree with West in that there are children in this world already in need of loving homes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: cl_alison
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 12:30pm

I have a bit of personal knowledge in this area ... I dontated my eggs to infertile women twice. This was b4 i was married or had a child. I felt that i wanted to always be a mom, & i would have been devestated if i couldnt. And, i had all these young, health, eggs that I didnt need, i felt that if i could make some womans dream of becoming a mom come true, then i would do it. So, i did.


It was anyonymous. The 1st time they harvested 21 eggs, the 2nd time, 17 eggs. SO, i may have a lot of biological offspring running around out there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: cl_alison
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 1:24pm

This is a very interesting question. My three at home are all adopted. I tried other options (and yes all very expensive) then chose the route of building a family through adoption.

If I could carry a baby for someone, I most certainly would. I can't imagine giving someone a more wonderful gift (both a child and a parent). I wouldn't have a problem giving the child up. I understand fully what it is to have that gift.

Priscilla

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: cl_alison
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 11:14am

I have to agree with Judy in that there as so many infants