QOTW- What makes you
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QOTW- What makes you
| Wed, 08-08-2007 - 10:41am |
Ok, in response to The Bachelor's note, my question of the week is this:
What makes you BETTER to date as a single parent than someone who is single?


Being a parent has made me realize what small things in life are the things to dwell on, and what small things in life are the things to just simple let go. Things like watching my MonkeyBunny discover a bug... those are precious. Things like mud being tracked into the house... those I'm learning to not get upset about.
I think being a parent gives me a perspective that I would never have if I didn't have kids. I've learned that I can't be so selfish- because the kids are so important. But at the same time, they've also taught me to stand strong for myself too- because if I don't make time for myself and my OWN growth too- then I'm not a good parent for them either. They've taught me to strive for a better balance.
Before I had kids, it was alot of me-me-me without being able to see the 'big picture' of life itself. It's weird- that I lived for the moment and didn't consider the future much before I had kids. And then once I had kids, I would start seeing a bigger world and things mattered more. But at the same time, I also see how insignificant some of the old 'big deals' are, and they just stopped being big deals anymore- like what cool 'toys' you have, or what care you drive, what you wear, etc... it just doesn't matter in the big picture anymore. Now I also live for the moment, but in a totally different way. Being a parent has taught me to see what REALLY matters and what is really valuable.
As far as dating goes... I don't play those insane dating mind games anymore! If I like someone, I tell him. If I don't, I won't keep spending more time with him, hoping he will "come around and grow up". I just don't have time for that! I have my own boys to raise; I don't need to be raising a grown man too!
I think I bring to the dating table, someone who is willing to be more of an equal partner. Not just a girl to be on his arm (though I don't see myself as ANY kind of trophy girlfriend) but he'd better be ready to have a partner in the dating process. Two whole people, not someone looking for another to fill an empty place. In my dating life, I expect respect and honesty. I expect courtesy and kindness. I offer the same in return... and I know I wasn't that way in my dating when I was single and had no kids. I was much more desperate in my dating before I had kids. Now that I am a parent, I HAVE to be more selective and I have to be more protective of my world and who I let in. And I have to have high standards.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I think I could sum up the change from non-parent to parent
I'm reliable. If I say I'll be somewhere or will do something, there's not going to be anything to stand in my way (except sick kids)... when I was younger, if a better deal came along, I'd take it. Now, I value my own time so much that I know others value theirs. I don't waste time making excuses, but I also don't make empty promises.
I'm honest. I'm living a life that two little people are learning a ton from. I want to be proud that they emulate me, not ashamed that they pick up terrible things from me. A man will never have to worry if I'm the type who will cheat, lie, or just be unhealthy. I value my life too much for my children's sake- and that's a good thing, I think.
I'm adaptable. Having two kids before my 21st birthday meant I learned quickly how to be creative, thrifty, spur of the moment, and still have fun. I don't think any man would ever be bored around me, even if we're just staying in and chatting or watching a movie. I'm a dang fun person, mom, AND girlfriend.
I'm hard working. Having two kids before I turned 21 meant I learned how to take care of not only myself, but also my children. I have worked sometimes three jobs at once, but no one ever went hungry. No one ever went homeless. I have a very strong work ethic that's finally paying off. I'll never expect anyone to take care of me, and will always be pleasantly surprised when they make the effort.
Moody, a pretty darn good catch (and mom)
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I was more aware of setting a good example of my life. I was more physically affectionate. I became more aware of the importance of touch. I was more accepting of myself for my children were/are.
Mark