Question of the week to get everyone thinking. I think this could be good for all. What, in your mind, is a perfect (or near perfect) marriage. Describe what that means to you - what would you want?
The perfect marriage is one where both parties are truly happy with it, even though it's flawed and imperfect. It isn't necessarily something tangible, to me. I mean, it isn't necessarily the Brady Bunch marriage, or Ward and June Cleaver, or anything. It's trust. It's love. It's just happiness- with all its fallicies and imperfections, like life. Both parties essentially want the same things- though they aren't clones. They also both have other interests, so that one of them isn't always sitting at home while the other's out doing his/her own thing, and they don't need to be attached at the hip at all times, though spending quality time together is important. They do something together on a regular basis, and as a family. If there are already children involved, they've reached an agreement about wanting/having more. In fact, even if there aren't already children involved. To me, marriage isn't really a compromising act or balancing act so much as its a fulfillment. I'm complete. I'm a full person, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for someone to make me whole, or make my life whole, but rather someone to share all the little moments with. There are always extended family members for all the huge milestones- births, birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc.- I'm looking for someone to rejoice and exult and weep and share my sorrow in the tiny moments that happen every day- the lost teeth and scraped knees, the bruised egos and trimmed bangs. That's what a good marriage is to me.
Oh- and did I mention that he's sweet and funny and always does the dishes and a major hottie too? (hey, if I'm dreaming, I might as well do it big, right?)
You mentioned a lot of good qualities. The only thing I would add is that you really both keep each other's best interests in mind with your decisions and you both flourish. If you have children in the picture they also flourish with the relationship. It is easy because you are both on the same page.
I think it is really important to find someone who has the same values as you. Who has the same energy level and intelligence. Who is responsible and dependable. And who loves you just the way you are and appreciates your strengths. And you also appreciate his.
to me a "perfect", or as close to that as you can get would be someone that i can just lay back and enjoy life with. that is something i never had with my ex-husband. i need someone that i can laugh with, cry with, be best friends with and be in an equal partnership. what i learned from my first marriage is that marriage is a partnership, i didn't have that with my xh...sometimes you have the 100% days and you have to pick the other up. sometimes you have 0% days and the other need to pick you back up. it is a partnership with mutual respect and friendship. even when you fight or disagree there needs to be that respect there. i didn't have that in my marrige and i yearn for that. i want to laugh and enjoy life......enjoy it one day at a time. i also think a "perfect" marriage is when things are 50-50...bottom line. i may be better at somethings than my husband and he may be better than me at some things.....it is a matter of working together.
The perfect marriage is one where both parties are truly happy with it, even though it's flawed and imperfect. It isn't necessarily something tangible, to me. I mean, it isn't necessarily the Brady Bunch marriage, or Ward and June Cleaver, or anything. It's trust. It's love. It's just happiness- with all its fallicies and imperfections, like life.
Both parties essentially want the same things- though they aren't clones. They also both have other interests, so that one of them isn't always sitting at home while the other's out doing his/her own thing, and they don't need to be attached at the hip at all times, though spending quality time together is important. They do something together on a regular basis, and as a family. If there are already children involved, they've reached an agreement about wanting/having more. In fact, even if there aren't already children involved.
To me, marriage isn't really a compromising act or balancing act so much as its a fulfillment. I'm complete. I'm a full person, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for someone to make me whole, or make my life whole, but rather someone to share all the little moments with.
There are always extended family members for all the huge milestones- births, birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc.- I'm looking for someone to rejoice and exult and weep and share my sorrow in the tiny moments that happen every day- the lost teeth and scraped knees, the bruised egos and trimmed bangs. That's what a good marriage is to me.
Oh- and did I mention that he's sweet and funny and always does the dishes and a major hottie too? (hey, if I'm dreaming, I might as well do it big, right?)
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Very well said.
You mentioned a lot of good qualities. The only thing I would add is that you really both keep each other's best interests in mind with your decisions and you both flourish. If you have children in the picture they also flourish with the relationship. It is easy because you are both on the same page.
I think it is really important to find someone who has the same values as you. Who has the same energy level and intelligence. Who is responsible and dependable. And who loves you just the way you are and appreciates your strengths. And you also appreciate his.
to me a "perfect", or as close to that as you can get would be someone that i can just lay back and enjoy life with. that is something i never had with my ex-husband. i need someone that i can laugh with, cry with, be best friends with and be in an equal partnership. what i learned from my first marriage is that marriage is a partnership, i didn't have that with my xh...sometimes you have the 100% days and you have to pick the other up. sometimes you have 0% days and the other need to pick you back up. it is a partnership with mutual respect and friendship. even when you fight or disagree there needs to be that respect there. i didn't have that in my marrige and i yearn for that. i want to laugh and enjoy life......enjoy it one day at a time. i also think a "perfect" marriage is when things are 50-50...bottom line. i may be better at somethings than my husband and he may be better than me at some things.....it is a matter of working together.
christie : )