Mommy and daddy are going to live in separate houses. They will always love you and be your mommy and daddy. You will live here... and you will see ... a lot and can always talk to them.
I would think it is hard for her and the kids since she/they have to move. But such is the situation.
I agree with the responses you got already, Liz. Another thing is that the 2 adults should sit down with the kids and tell them together, what is about to happen. It shouldn't be saddled upon one or the other to break the news, IMO.
I think it will be hardest on the 7 yr old and 5.5 yr old, as these kids are in the age range when they will think THEY did something to cause the break up. When I got divorced, my oldest was still only 4 (but even younger mentally), so it went fairly easy- as if they were younger.
My situation was different - my H was removed (while we werent there) by the police. & i was in such emotional distress over HOW & WHAT to tell Averey, that I just didnt right away. Her bday was
Ouch- it's never easy telling the kids, no matter how amicable the split.
I agree with West too, having her say that Mommy and Daddy will be living in different houses but still really good friends. The way they handle themselves after the move will be more important than the up front talk...actions speak loudest.
My daughter was 8 and it broke her heart to pieces, even though both my ex and I sat down with her and assured her that we would always be family, always be friends, and always take care of her first. We assured her it had nothing to do with HER, that we just were better friends than married people. We just kept reminding her how much we love her.
The good news is that your friend and soon to be ex seem to have their kids best interests at heart and so the children will recover. My dd did. It has taken a couple years. But she is OK now-
Yes, I would definitely tell them together. The most important thing to reassure them about is that they still have Mom and Dad and they love them. When we had to sit down and tell our kids it was really hard, but you do what you have to do. Shrimpy is right about them thinking THEY caused the divorce. Hope it goes well. I wouldn't wish that conversation on anybody. Steph
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I think the more the parents seem to be "ok" with it and treat it like something "natural", then the kids will follow suit.
Mommy and daddy are going to live in separate houses. They will always love you and be your mommy and daddy. You will live here... and you will see ... a lot and can always talk to them.
I would think it is hard for her and the kids since she/they have to move. But such is the situation.
I agree with the responses you got already, Liz. Another thing is that the 2 adults should sit down with the kids and tell them together, what is about to happen. It shouldn't be saddled upon one or the other to break the news, IMO.
I think it will be hardest on the 7 yr old and 5.5 yr old, as these kids are in the age range when they will think THEY did something to cause the break up. When I got divorced, my oldest was still only 4 (but even younger mentally), so it went fairly easy- as if they were younger.
Hugs to them all- as break-ups are never fun.
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
My situation was different - my H was removed (while we werent there) by the police. & i was in such emotional distress over HOW & WHAT to tell Averey, that I just didnt right away. Her bday was
Ouch- it's never easy telling the kids, no matter how amicable the split.
I agree with West too, having her say that Mommy and Daddy will be living in different houses but still really good friends. The way they handle themselves after the move will be more important than the up front talk...actions speak loudest.
My daughter was 8 and it broke her heart to pieces, even though both my ex and I sat down with her and assured her that we would always be family, always be friends, and always take care of her first. We assured her it had nothing to do with HER, that we just were better friends than married people. We just kept reminding her how much we love her.
The good news is that your friend and soon to be ex seem to have their kids best interests at heart and so the children will recover. My dd did. It has taken a couple years. But she is OK now-
Hugs to her and her family-
Hope it goes well. I wouldn't wish that conversation on anybody.
Steph
Pages