Question for Markster

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Question for Markster
9
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 6:37pm

Mark,

What is your opinion on age of prospect? Are you open to a range above and below - based on their looks of course, being in shape and their interests? Or do you really prefer younger women? Have you dated any who were the same age or older?

Am just curious.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 6:57pm

Well dang Judy. OK I'll totally open myself up here in public.

CNDG was the youngest I dated (me 54, 55 this July. She 41, 42 in Oct). I never thought of the possibility of that much younger until a mutual friend set me up with someone who was 12 years younger (we did not know the age difference until later). That did not seem such a big difference so my mind opened up for that possibility.

My last relationship was 3 years older and my first relationship just after my marriage was 4 years older (I think).

I have been mistaken in my early-to-mid 40s by those in their 20s and 40s. I attribute that to my Asian genes and my not-so-serious demeanor.

I tell people that the match needs to fit lifestyle and life stage. Lifestyle means whether or not they are active, travel a lot, etc. Life stage means whether they are retired, kids out of the house, etc.

I am in the position where my life stage is similar to women in their 40s. Most women my age or older are empty nesters and grandmothers. Some of them are retired or economically comfortable. Those are not a match for me. My DS18 just started an expensive college and I was out of work for 4 years and left most of my financial assets with my former spouse so retirement and traveling is not in the immediate future.

M, the woman I am going out to a concert tonight with is the same age as me. No kids, never married. She's attractive :-).

I am cautious if the age difference is too big, especially too young because most are still exploring their way through life. Since I have done a lot of self exploration and growth then I know what I want. Being with a young, hot babe is a fantasy but I know that would not work in the long run. On the flip side, older women look...well Old.

Why do you ask?

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 7:08pm

I was just curious about what a guy thinks of age. I really want someone who is the same age as me - mostly for the reasons you state - lifestyle and lifestage. That is a good explanation and very good way of looking at what helps to make a match.

But I was wondering, since it seems that there are also so many younger single women around my area, and the woman whom MtEverest chose over me was younger, if perhaps my hopes to find someone the same age, are a bit fruitless.

I do feel that I look good for my age - I am fit and have current clothes and interests - so I will plod on in hopes of finding someone within 5 years of my age.

I don't know if you saw my babble in another thread, but I had used Facebook to spy on the dear MtEverest - was just curious because at first he was really into me but then the communication dropped off - and that is okay - we only went on a few dates so I am not by any means upset over it - more of just curious. And the woman he seems to have chosen didn't seem to have any common interests - not into hiking, skiing the outdoors, fitness - any of that - just 8 years younger. So it got me thinking - maybe I should be trying to find someone older who is fit so I am not competing with something I obviously cannot change.

The funny thing is that a few weeks ago I had a guy who is 12 years younger, very hot, with all the same interests trying to convince me he only dates older woman - but that idea just makes me too nervous - at least for an OLD situation - I guess I could consider it if it was something that developed slowly IRL.

Okay - thanks for sharing and I hope you have a lot of fun at your concert tonight. I know it has been hard for you to go on a new adventure - but all of us are hoping for the best for our guy - and looking forward to more of your stories.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 9:50pm

Interesting concepts of compatibility, Mark- about LifeStyle and Life Stage. Not that I don't completely agree- because if those don't match up, then there could be more potential for problems.


Hiker and I definitely have the same lifestyles. Active, but not extreme. We love our desserts and lazy times, mixed in with our workouts. We're busy with work and kids, but enjoy our time off and love to travel and explore places and new foods. All that fits great!


But our Life Stage... they're definitely different!!! That's probably one of the main reasons why we haven't even TRIED to blend families. He has adult daughters with grandkids for him, plus a teen son still living at home with him. His grandkids are creeping up on MY KIDS' age, so in that aspect,

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 12:40pm

Mt Everest chose someone younger- how the HECK do you know that?


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 7:14pm

NO - he is not on my facebook friends list. He is on a network - and that means that if you are on that network you can view without being a friend. No one is wiser. It is not a big deal - as I said we had only 2 dates. I think his big thing is he is very busy and doesn't like to make plans in advance - likes to call at the last minute. Or call and blab and blab while he is driving.

And things are going just fine around here without him or the young one or any of them!! DS got a cooking lesson tonight - and made a fine batch of pasta. We all enjoyed it and now are chilling and getting stuff done. I am pooped after riding almost 100 miles and running 3 off the bike.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 7:41pm

Haha- so you were being SNEAKY !


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 03-02-2008 - 8:26pm
Well, the cooking lesson was from me- so no cost. Free! And dinner got made in the process.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 2:04pm

I'm glad you brought up the subject Judy, and to Mark- thanks for the candid response, as your male perspective helps all of us emminsly! :o)


Blue Eyes is 14 years older than me. I will be totally honest and say that we have had to work on (and continue to work on) life issues that are different due to our ages. He has already raised his kids and they are independant and on their own now. He is looking at retirement within 10 years and will get to go PLAY in his golden years way before me, lol.

~Pacific~
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 4:45pm

I so agree with what you said