A question for moms out there
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| Sun, 02-25-2007 - 6:27pm |
OK - so I've been single for 7 years. In that time, I've had two relationships - one lasted two years (and started through OLD), the other was with an old flame from high school and managed to destroy my finances, my self-esteem, and my relationship with my kids (which has been rebuilding) for 6 months and then plunged me into an 18 month long depression.
Since then, I've had dates I can count on both hands - and none has been productive.
So here's my question...
I work two jobs and have two kids. Yes, they're older, but as any single parent knows, older doesn't mean cheaper - and it doesn't mean less time. Dad is involved, but I am responsible for 95% of their activities. My finances are in shambles (I'm in the process of filing for bankruptcy) due to divorce-incurred debt and the negative relationship. I have a decent job (which provides my kids with free college tuition and me with free medical care - the reasons I took it) but doesn't pay a great salary, so I work as a waitress (whenever there's work available) for extra money. This makes my time very limited.
I can't afford to "go out" and meet people. One night in a bar takes every last dime I have for the week. The singles groups I've checked out all look like they have fun, but I just can't afford to go to these places. I have enough trouble just trying to pay my bills. OLD is not successful for me, for whatever reasons.
I don't know where to go to MEET people. I have friends, but my social activities (I'm very involved in local theater) mean that most of my friends are female - and the males are either married or gay.
Does anyone have suggestions for less expensive, or more creative, ways to go out and meet people? I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, and when I'm out with my friends (or for that matter, my kids), I have a good time, but then I come home - alone - and get depressed.
I've gone to the same church for 15 years - started there when I was married - and all the married couples there are still married. Church is not really a "hot spot" for single men over 40 LOL.
Any ideas?

Hi there, and welcome! I'm sure the others will have great advice, but here's mine:
You don't say if you have a dog, but if you do, try talking him new places, or find a dog park. It's free, great exersize, and a way to meet people.
Volunteer. Not only will you be meeting new people, you'll also have the knowledge that you're giving back. It could be a soup kitchen, trash detail on the highway, reading to the elderly, joining the local fire department, whatever you feel like doing.
Visit your local library. Again, free, and people who read are wicked sexy. Also, don't just go and check out books and leave- stay and read, ask someone if they like the author of a book they're looking at, strike up conversations.
If you like community theater and can play an instrument, try a community music fest. My community is probably the smallest in existence, but one very near me has a multigenerational jazz group I'm thinking of joining this spring.
Keep in mind that whatever you do should be because YOU enjoy it, not because you're planning on meeting Mr Right there. Being happy is the first step to meeting anyone, though.
Also, don't rule out those gay and married men- they may have a cousin, neighbor, friend, or coworker who they think would be perfect for you. They won't know you're single and looking though, if you don't tell them. Same goes for women you know or might meet.
Good luck, and stick around and keep us posted! it's a wonderful group we have here, full of ideas and stories!
Moody, who also looks for creative ways to meet people
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