Question of the week
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Question of the week
| Sun, 01-01-2006 - 3:24pm |
If you could have looked forward in time and seen that you would have ended up a single mom, would you still have had your child?


As much as my exh has given me disappointment and pain, he has given me my son.
I think that so much of a relationship is not only timing but also compatibility. With my exh, the timing was good, but the compatibility was not. I accept that now and know that we are better off apart, even for the trouble that has caused.
Perhaps I would have made a decision not to be with him if I could have known then what I know now. But I would rather be a single mom a million times over than not have my son.
This is an interesting question, Alison! How about you?
I'd not hesitate to answer yes on both questions. My kids are my life, and all I ever wanted growing up. I was told at 14 that I’d never have children, and was absolutely devastated, even at that age, because I always saw myself with a couple children. I never wanted a great career; never saw myself as anything but a mother. So when I found out I was pregnant (at seventeen) I was scared to death, but so ecstatic I couldn’t even put into words how I felt. Then my second came 3 years later with just as much awe and excitement as the first. My children are my world and I’d do it over and over again if I had the choice.
The ex-h is still a yes answer. We didn’t work out as a couple, but he gave me my babies, and will always be my best friend. He’s a great man, just lacking on the relationship and family front. He does make sure we are all taken care of, and I can call him and talk to him about anything. I truly wish him all the happiness in the world, and if I could do it all over again I’d still make the same decision, even knowing we’d be divorced after 6 ½ years.
I ended up with 2 great kids even though my marriage ended. You can't trade that for ANYTHING! Not sure if my answer makes sense to anyone but me, but thats how I feel.
Stephanie
Well, if I could answer your question without ever knowing my son, then I would say I would change it. I was not ready to have a child, didn't have it anywhere in my plans for life. I was 20 and ready to join the Navy. Cut the hair, packed up the house, unemployed, ready to leave....found out as I was leaving for bootcamp, with all the other girls, that my pregnancy test was the only one positive in the group. Navy was my only career goal and had nothing else planned for my life. I would love to be in the Navy.
Now, if you ask me that with knowing my son, I could never imagine my life without him. He is a joy to be around. I took my responsibility serious of becoming a mom and I am a strong independent woman for that. I wouldn't want to change who I am today or where I am today. I often wish I was in the Navy and not the medical field, but that is something I have to deal with separately.
As far as the partner, well, he would have left me once I was in bootcamp...so that ending would have been expected regardless. Although, he did leave as soon as the pregnancy test read positive, he even deserted the Marine Corps the month my son was due. To this day, he doesn't know if I had a boy or girl. But, if I had never met him, I wouldn't have the child I do today.....is that bitter sweet?!
Yes.