A question for you all
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A question for you all
| Fri, 05-05-2006 - 1:05pm |
As you all know, I lost my husband to a motorcycle accident last June. And everyone knows that I have met my wonderful Mike. My question for you all is....should I tell Aaron's parents? not any details, just that I've met someone...etc. And the reason I am asking this is because Aaron's parents are gonna watch Hunter this Saturday night so that I can bowl in a tournament (with Mike) Would it be wrong of me to bring Mike to drop Hunter off? I'm so so confused. I know Aaron's parents don't expect me to stay single, but I'd rather they hear from me that I'm dating, instead of hearing it thru the grapevine...kwim? Any thoughts or suggestions would be GREATLY appreicated....TIA!



Janet, when I started dating again, after my divorce, I felt kind of weird about it with my in-laws. I had stayed very close to them. I know it isn't at all the same as a death, but since my exhusband isn't in the picture at all, he is basically dead to my daughter. She was 3 months old when he left, and she's never seen him since.
Anyhow, eventually, they asked me if I'd met anyone new, and I didn't lie, but afterward, I kicked myself for not telling them sooner, casually, that I was dating someone. My advice would be to maybe not necessarily introduce them this time, but at least tell them that you're dating someone and happy.
They'd want that for you, but more importantly, they'd want that for Hunter. He deserves to have Mike in his life, too. His grandparents will be happy that you've found such a wonderful man who loves Hunter, and is so happy to be a part of his life. Pretty soon, Hunter will be the one to tell them, and that would be awkward!
I think when you drop him off, you could just say, I know you'll be happy for me, I've met a wonderful man... and Aaron would be happy for me, too.
If you go into it expecting them to like Mike, and make those expectations clear by saying something to the effect of "I know you'll be happy for me," people usually are, at least in my experience.
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Good luck, I know it must be hard to try and figure out how to tell them.
Stephanie
I know I wouldn't appreciate a drop in with a new boyfriend if I were in this position. And a heads up will give her the opportunity to make her first best impression. It also gives her a few hours to get used to the idea that you are putting your life back together and dating again.
Nobody likes surpises like that, just dropping in with a new friend.
I say let them know in advance. I know they want what is best for Hunter and you.
Oh Janet,
What a toughie!!!
I love Tina's idea of saying, "I know you'll be happy for me..."
I hope my reply is not too late - but I agree with everyone here - it is better that you are honest with them and that the news comes from you. For now, until an engagement becomes official, I would not give too many details or expect instant approval - just say you are dating and that you will put Hunter's needs to the front.
This is a hard time for them but I know they will want what is best for you and Hunter. And it is happy news for you.
I have a heartwarming story for you.