Questions for dating a single mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Questions for dating a single mom
3
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 4:12pm

I think this is the best board to pose my question, and you guys have been very helpful to me before.

I used to post often on the Online Dating board. About 3 months ago I "met" a wonderful woman online (here at an ivillage chat room actually) and we started IM'ing, emailing, and talking to each other. She lives in the Chicago area, and I am in Texas. We made plans to meet and did, about a month ago. I flew up to be with her for a long weekend. We had a *great* time and came out of the meeting with strong feelings about each other. I am flying out to meet her again this weekend, and then she is flying here for a week over Christmas.

She has two children from her previous marriage -- a boy who is 7 and a girl who is 10. I know if our relationship is ever going to move to a committed level, I must be accepted by her kids. I would like to meet them when the time is right, but not too soon. Her son wants to meet me already, but her daughter is still not ready. I have IM'd some with her daughter and she can be very warm towards me, but she goes back and forth. It's very understandable -- she misses her dad and she does not feel comforatable with her mom dating anyone.

I do not want to rush her at all. I hope that in time and me getting to know her better, she might accept me more, but I am not sure. I do not have kids of my own and so I am already a little behind the curve in that sense. I would love to hear some experiences from you guys. Is there anything I can do to help her feel more comforatable with her mom dating me? Will it only get harder as she gets older? Any tips? I realize that a long distance relationship makes things even more complex in a way.

Thanks for your help,

Eric

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 7:48pm

Welcome, Eric. I do remember your posts - you are a very kind reader here on ivillage.

I think you have everything straight in your head - you see all the issues clearly.

As for the 10 yo - you can't control her - only what you do. You have to accept that she will accept you in her own time and on her own terms. No one can say when and if that will happen - but I am sure that she will - you have always sounded like such a nice person.

My only advice would be don't try too hard or rush things with her. Just be there to listen to what she has to say. Try not to take her actions personally. And I think you will be fine. Most kids just love someone who will LISTEN to them and interact with them. Attention is worth far more than any toy.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 8:23pm

Eric,


Welcome back to the board, we do love the male perspective around here and would love to hear about your relationship with a single mom!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 10:20pm

Hi Eric!

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