questions for that rare guy (t-bone)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
questions for that rare guy (t-bone)
24
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 1:00pm

What is the t-bone part of your handle significant of?


And a few more serious questions if you'd care to answer. I have asked a few other guys friends, but one more opinion will add to my dataset.


Why would a guy flirt like mad, really come on strong, respond to you and then ...STOP dead in his tracks?


And the reverse...


When someone doesn't "see" you for a couple of years and then suddenly notices, what's up with that?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 1:19pm

This could get long....sorry...

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"What is the t-bone part of your handle significant of?"

It is slang for one of musical instruments I play....trombone. I also play trumpet (my primary instrument), french horn and flugelhorn (remember Chuck Mangione?)

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"Why would a guy flirt like mad, really come on strong, respond to you and then ...STOP dead in his tracks?" and "When someone doesn't "see" you for a couple of years and then suddenly notices, what's up with that?"

What? LOL!!! You think women have the corner on changing their minds? Acutally, I think the answer to both of these are the same.

Seriously, the thing that you (and all the other women here) have to understand about men is that sex is the single most important thing to men. We work, sleep, and eat for the purpose of finding a mate to have sex with. Our testosterone levels are many times higher than womens (Yes! Women have testosterone, it is the hormone that regulates sex drive, more testosterone means more drive, this could be why women who have sex, tend to want more...they're getting a dose of testosterone every time!) Our genitals are exterior to our bodies and are touched by our clothing continuously. Our penises "remind" us every morning and sometimes several times a night, what their primary purpose is.

As a result men are like fish...(I can't believe I just said that!) men are opportunists. And men (unlike women I think) are not *that* particular about the women we connect with.

The result is that if a man is pursuing a woman, then finds a woman that he thinks is more available to him, he will discontinue the pursuit of the first woman in favor of the second.

Of course, this assumes that all things are equal...no change in job status or responsibilities, no changes in health or stress.

Of course, *I'm* not like this at all...I'm not like other men! LOL!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 1:27pm

I read somewhere (I think it was on ivillage) that a guy will settle down when he's ready, with whatever girl he's dating at the time. So he could be dating the perfect woman, but if he's not ready to be married in general, and she's pushing for marriage, he'll bail. Likewise, when he's ready to settle down, the girl he's dating (whoever she is) is the perfect candidate.

Your thoughts?

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Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 1:59pm
that a guy will settle down when he's ready, with whatever girl he's dating at the time. .. I've read this too. And I've seen what appeared to be that case a couple of different times. Looking forward to "Tbone's" answer (LOVE the reason behind your handle, btw)
Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 2:16pm

LOL...ok


It sounds more like he's changing direction than changing his mind. Sniffing the wind and following the scent.


I was aware that women have testosterone and as a post menopausal woman I think it probably has a greater effect.


You sound like one of my professors who equates everything with sex/evolutionary advantage. So we're pretty much at the mercy of our "selfish genes"? I guess women have their "mating strategies" as well...that leave unsuccessful men out of the picture.


Too bad we can't just like each other. *sigh*...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 2:35pm
I was thinking about it more, and I think it may be more true for younger guys without kids and/or a marriage behind them. I know my bf would never be with someone like his ex again. If he remarries and has more children, it will only be with someone who truly believes the father's role in the child's life is important, and will not use divorce as a reason to destroy the father/child bond. But I can see that the timing is not right for my bf to get married and start another family, so no matter how great our relationship is he isn't going to think about that until his custody issues are resolved.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 2:53pm

This is very interesting - thanks for your honesty. I have also read the other posts here and see we have another good discussion going.

What makes a guy want to settle down with one girl/woman? Is it timing - or just the fact that she is that attractive to him - both physically and mentally.

Thanks for your insight?

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 4:35pm

I'm sorry if this seems rude to anyone, but I am JUST ROLLING ON THE FLOOR with laughter right now! MAN, is this a fantastic thread. LOL.

It's always been known that men are steered by the penis! LOL, sorry, but it seems to be the nutshell of what Brian was talking about.

I can't stop laughing. I am just dying in my corner of the world. Tomorrow you will read "Crazy American dies of laughter in Germany. Investigators still at a loss at what caused this phenonemon."

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 4:42pm
LOL...Yep, At the age of 41, I pretty much had that peice of information nailed down too.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 5:10pm

"I read somewhere (I think it was on ivillage) that a guy will settle down when he's ready, with whatever girl he's dating at the time. So he could be dating the perfect woman, but if he's not ready to be married in general, and she's pushing for marriage, he'll bail. Likewise, when he's ready to settle down, the girl he's dating (whoever she is) is the perfect candidate."

That seems plausible for me, but I think in the presence of the right woman, a guy can be "knocked off the fence" so to speak.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 5:15pm

"What makes a guy want to settle down with one girl/woman? Is it timing - or just the fact that she is that attractive to him - both physically and mentally."

I think there are a great many things that make a guy settle down. Compatibility with his woman is one of them. Where he is in his life....career, etc. But I think another one may be if he thinks that his current woman is "the best he can do". It's a guy's biological clock, so to speak. Will a better woman come along who finds what he has to offer her appealing, before I start to lose my hair, gain a gut, etc.

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