re: H#4 - in this case is ghosting ok?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
re: H#4 - in this case is ghosting ok?
15
Mon, 09-01-2008 - 9:42pm

So quick question.. in the case of H#4, is it okay if i just NOT return any further texts or calls?


He has texted me since admiting he was drunk friday night. At first i wasn't going to completely ghost.. but you tell me if it's the right path to take.


Saturday morning, he texts an apology about bothering me. I sent back an encouragement "it's a new day." My thoughts were if he wanted to jump back on the wagon i'd sent a quick encouragement.. nothing lengthy ya know.


Sunday night i get another series of text from him... this time, he really starts to scare me and frankly it's just sad.. he hints that he's relapsed into drug use... i send back "don't wanna know"... then he says "oh no i'm going to scare you away"... and i say "okay, have fun. be safe." My thoughts, yes, i'm already scared away.. but still, i didn't want to be hateful... especially if he was on something... he wouldn't have cared. I know the drill... again a path i have no intention of going down. Not gonna try to come between a man and his fix. Nor am i going to try to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 8:54pm

"Then there is the one's you wanted that wouldnt commit or ghosted - who seem to wait until your happily settled with someone else before they decide that in fact they do want you."

Ain't that the truth!!! I cried myself silly over a guy (the one right before my ex), and he finally got back to me with songs of love AFTER I had moved in with my husband!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 9:17pm

EXCELLENT!!!

I think you did the right thing, and the right way. You were honest and upfront with him, just as he was with you. You don't owe him anything further than that. If you see him out, you can be nice to him, but you aren't a friend of his so you don't have to worry about offending him by discontinuing contact.

I feel that maybe he was gluing onto you because his other friends HAVE had enough of him and his behaviour. It's not a matter of "doing that stuff around you", it's the fact that he does it AT ALL that I would have issues with: you don't have addiction problems, why should you put up with that in someone in your life?

Besides, I like MM MUCH better :)

The boy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 9:27am
I think you did great.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 10:28am

Perfect!!!

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 1:38pm

did i do okay...?


You did PERFECTLY!


pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs

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