Ready to hear ALL updates from the
Find a Conversation
Ready to hear ALL updates from the
| Mon, 08-20-2007 - 9:09am |
relationship and dating challenge. Let's just keep it on one thread.
Sorry I am late, but I was on vacation for a few days and now I am back and ready to hear the updates. PLUS, this gave you all an extra few days!
So let's hear the outcomes!
Did you say the positive words to yourself?
Where and when did you practice meeting someone or did you meet someone?
Keep a journal?
Try the kissing experiement or what was it special that you did with your partner?

Pages
I am putting myself out of the game, but into a game of my own! LOL.
How long I can go without a date. LOL.
So it's been a week now. First week no date. So I feel great, I'm much happier. Mr. History called me this weekend to ask me out last night and meet up. Funny how he called me a few times yesterday. Wanting to see me and all. No date, just see me and talk. An hour before we decided to meet, he mentioned that he missed having sex with me and then when I told him I'm not interested right now and having any sort of relationship or FWB. He responded by saying he TOTALLY understands, that he also isn't looking for that (whatever). He said he was going to shower, because he was really tired from the sun all day and would call me back. Hmmm. That never happened.
How did I feel being stood up again? I felt it was comical and silly. It's become a total joke. I was happy for myself that I said no to his slight testing of the waters and that it totally didn't suprise me that he didn't call back. I was ready to go out to the grocery store, so it wasn't as if I took time to make myself presentable. I looked nice in some kahki shorts and a navy top with navy shoes. So instead, as planned, I headed out to the grocery store and got last minute items for the girls today.
JS contacted me a few times. I had a few MAJOR choice words to tell him and so we are done and over since last week. I have severed complete ties between us. A strange turn in events happened last week that I didn't even bother to post, but, basically I realized this guy isn't even my best friend; let alone friend. Walking away made me feel much lighter.
Walking away from everything and everyone has made me feel much lighter. I feel much more relieved. I will be starting school tomorrow night again and looking forward to the girls starting school next week.
I continue to make all efforts to look nice and presentable and take every opportunity for a quick flirt (dont' want to lose the touch), but no more OLD right now and no other strange ways of meeting or long distance. No friends or whatever else. It's over for the moment. ALL over. I have done a lot more things for myself and looked pretty scary deep inside of myself this week. It made me cry alot. I have a lot of hidden pain inside of me that I have forced to forget about and push out of my mind. A lot of things that need working out and healing that I have not really allowed myself to do. I work/ed on it in baby steps and I have come a long way, but this week at the beach made me realize much more about myself. Strange how some things can be triggered by only one comment.
The sentence to me was: I don't know "you". You talk about your past, but you never describe your feelings or thoughts of how it made you feel, you only state the facts.
Very true statement that made me realize I keep a lot of things inside of me still that I was never allowed to unleash. I was never allowed to say I was sad or hurt. I wasn't allowed to cry or feel. I was never asked about what I wanted or how things that happened that were bad affected me. Never allowed to discuss it; only swallow it. HOWEVER, I realized that as I grew up, I became quick to say how I feel now. I don't even let the slightest mistake or fault in someone go unnotice if I feel it affects me in any way. I totally flip out now. I think it is because I was NEVER allowed to share my feelings or thoughts as a child and now I unleash them when and where they are appropriate or not appropriate. I just don't care, but the reality is, I get myself WAY to pumped up about things that just shouldn't get me flying off the handle. I need to learn to better channel my feelings, to better react or not react. Not continue to hurt myself in other ways.
I think I have already made one small step towards a more positive energy, because last night when Mr. History fell asleep or ditched me or whatever, I didn't get pissed, I sent no nasty email or text message. I just let it go; I laughed a little to myself and I just let it go.
I channeled my feelings and thoughts in a different thought process. Mine was: I can't control his actions, I can only control my own. It is nothing that i have done, it is how he is. Just because he didn't call or show, I am not allowing it to ruin my evening. I will continue to go to the store as I planned and then I will finish some things around the house and go to bed early. This way I have a fresh, early morning start. I channeled it and felt MUCH better about myself.
I am going to continue to try to channel things better, try to understand myself better and to unleash the pent up feelings that I had while I was growing up and learn to channel my feelings now in a more positive and not hurtful way.
Soooo yes, first no date week was successful. Bottom line: No interest whatsoever.
My update is rather boring!!!! I haven't met anyone. I don't remember flirting or not. Was home most of the weekend cleaning the house, doing laundry. Yesterday afternoon I met with some girlfriends for a cook out at one of their houses. So I really have nothing to report.
I was hoping that I would go to a MEETUP event this coming weekend as my kids will be with their dad. There isn't anything going on GRRRR!!!! So I have no idea what I will do. We have both soccer and gymnastics tonight so I will running around like a crazy person dropping off and picking up so there will be little to no time for mom to socialize. Not really much else going on this week (sigh).
My attempt at getting myself out there more seems to be doomed to failure!!!!
Priscilla
If I remember correctly, you were doing a little flirting LAST weekend. Even though it wasn't this weekend, you did catch yourself last weekend.
Ok, so did you try to consciously go out and try it? Did you do any of the things with the mirror, verses, etc? If not, why or why do you think you kept yourself from trying.
I wounder how you went to having JS as a long time best friend to not a friend at all. I have examined this in my life with friends that are here today and gone tomorrow. I sometimes mourn the loss, the temporariness of friendships, and the impermanence of close connections.
I might have missed your posting if you already explained how this transpired.
Mark
Yes, you could probably wonder why I go from best friend to not at all. It's been an ongoing problem for a couple of years that JS just can't accept friendship. Therefore I've posted the threads in the past about REALLY trying to hold on ot just a friendship, but he just can't deal with that. It always comes down to the same thing about us having to be in a relationship. I have done everything I can, but I just don't have those same feelings and I know it won't change. So I have finally decided after a lot of thought and some great feedback from the others that a friendship sometimes just can't happen if the other person just doesn't GET IT and JS doesn't get it. After two years of trying, I think it's just best to leave things be, because it's not just a friendship for him. He can't leave it alone. Then of course, their were a few things that came up in our conversation regarding that and either out of hurt or maybe the truth, he said somethings that I felt were extremely out of line. Of course I will miss the friendship. That is why it was soo hard for me to let go and it took so long, but I know it's best for both parties that I finally cut the cord.
Ah thanks for explaining that. I had that happen to me recently. She dumped me rather abruptly because she felt that I could not just be a friend. I thought I could and did not really "act" differently but she *felt* my desire to be more. She was right. It hurt to not to work on the friendship though. All for the best.
Mark
Just got back from my race. Lifeguard was so sweet to get up really early to take me to the airport and then to pick me up. He could have worked extra today but said he would not miss that for the world and that meant a LOT to me.
I am so tired from my race but will try to go through the board and then give an update from my weekend. Had a lot of fun and raced well and am SORE!
Pages