Real Estate advice/help??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Real Estate advice/help??
32
Mon, 05-19-2008 - 2:40pm

I'm going blank trying to remember who on this board is the real estate guru?


I have some questions about buying/selling right now. I rent, but BE has a few options right now he is considering. He's considering selling and buying while the market is down..versus waiting it out. He has an older and a newer home...considering selling one or the other and needs to know things like property tax laws when selling/buying, tax breaks for being married versus single, depreciation laws...these kinds of things. Is it different sate to sate?


Where can we go for help/advice without paying a consultant?

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 1:36pm

I like how you handled talking to your DS about the move. No need to worry him, just letting him in on the plans to move are enough! I'm hoping that you guys get something settled soon. I can only imagine the temporary stress! Good luck!!


As for BE's current place. It's not bad. But it's been a single guy's place (along with a roommate he's been renting

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 4:34pm

This is exciting stuff!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 5:22pm

Hey there Moon-


Been thinkin about ya and hoping YOUR move has gone smooth! Are you all snug bugs in the rug by now?

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 5:42pm

Ok- so on the topic of moving in...


I would think it's only fair that you put out there what your expectations are as far as his daughter and the drinking.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 6:16pm

I appreciate your input, Alison.


I really do not want him to feel burdened or think I would want a sugar daddy or that I would take advantage of him, so I have to be careful when I approach him, you know? But I was a bit put off by his suggestion that I take care of "her stuff" because 1) he knows I can't afford that alone and 2) in the past we always talked about "us" putting things into his place. Maybe we were thinking two different ways. I emailed him a letter so we can talk it out.


I like how you worded it...a little help from BE would be helpful. I can present it to him that way if we decide to do it. I did not like that he said he knows I can't really afford it so he could "float me a loan". It just sounded clinical and separate. And marking my CDs? Does that not sound like he is unsure of our stability so he would do that in the likelihood that we split?


As for the issue with his daughter. I feel it is a huge bone of contention. We've had discussions about how he wants to lay down the boundaries. He knows that the drinking and partying can't happen in the home if DD is there. (Heck I don't even like it myself..let alone my DD.) The problem is that in his mind he feels I should just trust that these things (making boundaries and rules with her) takes time and her I should not expect him to change his ways with her overnight. Great- but I can't move in without SEEING the change happen, the actions not just words- first.


Case in point- and this set off a bad vibe for this whole past weekend AND could be why I feel the separateness feelings coming from him quite suddenly. See what you think:

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 6:52pm

Hmmm... I could see why that would be an issue- I would've said the same thing :P


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 7:10pm
Has he ever lived with someone before?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 7:21pm

Great points and questions.


Ex giving me more support won't happen now...maybe in the future but the chances are slim. Working more hours would be good but my clinic has been putting the crunch on overtime, not approving it on a regular basis. You asked a great question about a raise. I am due for a raise in July- but I won't hold my breath about a big one..the typical is about 3-4 percent (and 3-4 percent of squat is less than squat..lol).


That leaves the option of looking for another place to rent.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 7:29pm

Has he ever lived with someone before?

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 05-20-2008 - 8:46pm

Another thing about getting our own new place neutral territory is that if his daughter comes around I would equal say in how long she stays, ground rules..etc. At his place I would feel less in control of having my say.


I couldn't agree with you more!!!