a reflection- leaving well enough alone
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a reflection- leaving well enough alone
| Mon, 05-01-2006 - 12:32pm |
I was an active member on this board and sometimes I still come by to check in on what's happening to the rest of the board. I see Cat is gone, too, the last of my generation. I love your post on remarrying with children, Texas_mom. It got me thinking about all the great gals on this board who have remarried and who came back to tell us that it was great or that it wasn't quite what they thought and they are in counseling, spliting up, etc. I'd love to have a reunion and see. Statistically second and third marriages have less of a chance of staying together...I think it would be interesting to see what happened to those who remarried and if they stayed married. What were the issues that came up...maybe that's what the second marriage board is about? Marriage is plain hard and challenging...those who aren't putting MORE IF NOT AS MUCH energy into dealing with their own demons/issues/baggage as they are finding a second husband...what are the chances of NOT picking the same sort of man as the first time and making the same mistakes? And then when you marry him, you've got children involved so you have to make decisions for two or five (depending on how many kids you have). You can't simultaneously be in and out of relationships/marriages AND putting the kids first. It doesn't work that way- it's just a screwed life for your kids.
Good luck to all of you.
Good luck to all of you.

Hi Downbythebay - how are you doing?
You ask good questions - and yes - there is the second marriage board:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlsecondwive
They do have some scary issues with blended families going on right now.
Our own firstammendment - who did post in the thread you speak about - is facing this task now. She and her bf have been to counseling and are aware of the issues and communicating about them. They have an impressive to do list and are really considering the children and putting them first. First has shown great communication skills in our threads so I think she will do fine. She also has the perspective of being a step child.
I do agree that we need to work on our own demons and make ourselves better persons - this helps us get the right catch and it also makes us better people and parents.
It would be great to hear from our alumni that got married. We haven't really had any updates in a while. But of course we would love to hear from them - (lurkers are you listening?)