Reunited
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| Wed, 05-25-2005 - 7:02pm |
Hi all, I'm new here and introduced myself when I replied to another post, but I'll give a little recap. I'm 22, I have an 18 month old daughter, and am a senior in college studying statistics and actuarial science.
I have a situation to ask your opinions about. A couple years ago, before I had my daughter, I would take my niece, who was then 6, rollerskating every Friday night. Being one of very few people over 15 who skated, a single dad soon approached me with his daughter, and the girls hit it off very quickly. While the girls did their thing, it became a weekly tradition that he and I would skate together a ways behind and chat. He was pretty aggressive in asking me out, inviting me to his Superbowl party, asking me to come out of town to watch him play basketball, a lot of different things. I was interested in him, and he knew that, but I turned him down every time. I was open with him for my reasons, I was 20 and he was 31, and I still live at home and wasn't sure how my parents would handle me dating a divorced father so much older than myself, and I worked with his little sister at the time, who was 4 years older than me, which I don't know why, but it made me feel weird. My parents and sister had both met him on nights they came along, and liked him, but I still didn't feel right pursuing a relationship with him. Then I got pregnant and quit going skating, and I lost contact with him until my daughter was 6 months old and I ran into him at the pool, where we exchanged hellos, casually agreed we should start skating again in the fall, and that was that. This past fall I have taken my niece skating a couple times, however the regulars haven't seen him or his daughter since we used to go a couple years ago.
A couple weeks ago I was excited to find out that he's now the coach of my niece's softball team and couldn't wait to attend a game. The first scrimmage was last night, and he made a point to come over and say hello, but his remarried ex wife is also coaching, and won't let any other woman within 10 feet of him without demanding his attention. She wouldn't even let my sister ask him about the upcoming pictures. My thoughts have changed a lot in the last couple years, and after seeing him last night, I'd like to at least hang out with him again. But I have no idea if he's currently seeing anybody, still interested, etc. Should I let him know, or just see what he does? I'm going to a game tomorrow night, but would feel weird bringing anything up in front of my mom, sister, the kids, his ex wife, and everybody else there. Plus I think it's a little soon, maybe I should give it a couple weeks, I don't know. Any ideas?
Thanks!
Linds

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Just wondering...........
What's the worry? Relax, watch and listen. I wouldn't call him. I would wait for HIM to walk up to you and say "Hi, I am busy at the moment, but do you think we could talk for a few minutes after the game?" Try to get him to make the initiative. He might not be making time, because he doesn't want to make time. I wouldn't go calling him just yet. The house isn't burning, so just keep your mind occupied otherwise. Any other single Dad's out on that Field? ;-)
First off, sorry for disappearing. Kind of adjusting to school being out for summer/starting a full time job, it feels like I don't have time for anything!
So anyway, update...a couple weeks passed where he'd come up and say hi, but his sister would come take over the conversation before either of us had a chance to say a whole lot or something else would distract us. So my impatient self got sick of wondering and called him this past Friday night to see if he and his daughter wanted to go skating with my niece and I, like old times. They agreed, and things seemed to pick up right where they left off, only with no apprehension on my part. After my daughter went to sleep Saturday night, he picked me up with intentions of bowling, but we ended up driving around and talking instead, but completely innocent. Then yesterday we went rollerblading with his daughter. I'm having a great time, BUT my parents are furious. My dad hasn't spoken to me since expressing his disapproval yesterday afternoon (Father's Day of all days), and my mom keeps repeating that she doesn't think this is a good idea. I understand that I do live with them and depend on them, but it's really making me mad, I should be able to choose who I date. They can't come up with any specific reasons on why I shouldn't date him, just generalizations that a man 12 years older than myself will have little in common with me, he will have expectations I won't be able to handle, no good will come of this for me or my daughter, etc. I have tried explaining that have a great time together, it's not like we've just met, he's a good guy (raising his 9 year old daughter with very little help from her mother), and I've already considered every objection they have. Being a father himself, he understands the situation, and I've never seen him get worked up about anything. He says they'll just have to wait and see with time that it's all going to work out, and hopefully they'll give him a chance to sit down and chat with them.
So, there's my venting. I honestly had no idea they'd react like this, my mom has met him several times and has commented on what a nice guy he is and how devoted he is to his daughter.
That is great news that the two of you were finally able to connect again. :)
Sorry about the folks. It sounds like they're just concerned for your well being and your future. Sometimes, parents can do strange things for the love of their daughters.
Hopefully, your guy is right and he'll be able to win them over with time.
Good luck and keep us posted~
Also congrats on your job and good luck with that too!
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