This is ripping me apart...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
This is ripping me apart...
2
Mon, 11-07-2005 - 3:17pm

Okay...yesterday I was very upset. I kept getting messages from my ex's step mom that would say horrible things about me. She said that I have no decency, etc. and things like that just wear on me after a while. I know that they shouldn't, but at this point I'm so emotionally up and down that things seem to cut me like a knife.

I went to church and met my lawyer (who is a member) at the door. He asked how dd was and I said she was good and walked on. I guess he didn't hear me b/c he said, okay, fine, don't speak to me then. My mom heard him and told me. This sent me into tears. I was so upset and couldn't stop crying that I had to get up from the service and go to the bathroom to try and compose myself. When I came out I met my lawyer in the hall. So I stopped and pretended that I didn't hear him outside and explained that I wasn't trying to be rude. He put his arm around me and asked me what was wrong. So I told him everything. It probably wasn't the most appropriate place to bring up my legal matters and woes, but hey, at least he was listening for a change. I told him that I was just going to have the whole r/o dismissed so I didn't have to go to court over the custody thing. He told me that by what I was saying that they have changed the r/o to a child advocacy hearing in addition to the r/o. He told me that I needed to come in and see him this week. I looked at him funny b/c he hasn't helped me thus far considering that I still owe him money. He kinda smiled and said not to worry that he wouldn't charge me. This made me break down again.

He also started talking about my divorce and said that he didn't know what was going on with the judge...it's been 8 months since my divorce hearing, I still have no decree, and I'm still legally married to the man. I know my lawyer is lying about this fact b/c the court circuit told me he is the one who put a hold on it until the amount I owe him is paid. Oh well..at least now he sees that I really need help.

So, I'm going to meet with him tomorrow and see what he/we can do. Hopefully he will go and represent me in court next week for the hearing.

I'm so upset, sad, depressed, and just at my wits end. But it's a little easier to face all of this knowing that I'm not going to go into it blindly w/out any representation.

Further more, it's not about me not wanting ex to have anything to do with our dd. It's just that right now, with no decree, if he gets her, he doesn't have to give her back, and I know that's just what he'd do to hurt me. But I'm scared...and I don't want her to be influenced so negatively and horribly by my ex and his family. I'm trying to hold on to my faith and turn to God, but it's just so hard.

Please...keep me and my dd in your thoughts and prayers. I just can't go through this alone.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 11-07-2005 - 9:36pm

Kait,


I REALLY HOPE that you kept those messages from his step mom!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 6:25am

Kait,

I do think about you every day when I check the messages. This is a very hard time for you and we are all concerned.

Try to take comfort in the fact that you have as many things for you as against you. It is lucky that you are still married to him while you are trying to sort this out - just as he wouldn't have to give her back if he gets her means you don't have to give her to him and you must avoid that at all cost until you can get this sorted because he sounds dangerous.

It is so lucky that you saw the lawyer and he will help you. Lean on him as much as you can. Save and document all correspondence with your ex and his family because that will help your case. They are annoying the @#$@#$ out of you now but they are also digging their own hole to have dd with you more in the future.

Please don't let what your MIL says to belittle you. Realize the source and don't let what she says have an effect on you - because it doesn't change you and who you are - it is just a negative reaction from a very negative person - remember - your ex is her son and you know how strong a mother's feelings can be.

I just know that you are going to sort out all of the papers and divorce and such and soon you will have this behind you. Brighter days are ahead of you. Just keep strong and be careful and have faith. Don't give up.

Stay after your lawyer so he helps you - don't give up on trying to get ahold of him and have him see you. I think that he has been burned by a lot of people not paying him and he didn't realize the scope of your troubles before. But as long as he goes to bat now that is all that matters.

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