Rough Weekend

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Rough Weekend
4
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 11:48am

Hi all,

I guess I'm joining the Freak Out club, too. I'm not happy with how I handled things... but we all have our bad moments.... I'm hoping I've learned a few things and that I'm stronger for it.... Although, I probably need to take a couple week break from the dating scene...

Okay so here's the story... Friday Night - Birdie (my girl friend) invited me to karaoke. Sounded good since I decided not to just wait around for Beachguy to call.... It's been a while since her and I went out... so far so good. My brother agreed to babysit. The evening started out GREAT.... there were several good looking guys, several flirting with us and a couple even bought Birdie and I drinks. Then.....at 10:30 pm Beachguy called me. (let the freak out begin). Well, actually he sent me a text first "What up T". I was tickled that he contacted me and I replied "margaritas at ".... Then he called... I asked if he was going to join me. He hesitated... wasn't sure if he wanted to travel so far (he was at a different bar). I told him... well you know Birdie and I. We'll be here til 2 am. It's a good crowd."

so far so good, right... But I went into freak out mode. If he did show up, which I pretty much thought he would... then I didn't want him catching me flirting with all the guys. So, I'm sure I started sending a bad signal to all the guys after that.... I gave off a closed vibe where before I was being very open and friendly. A handsome older guy who I was enjoying my time with... got up and left. Other guys who sat next to me, I pretty much said, "oh I'm meeting someone here in a few minutes, I don't want him seeing anything suspicious. Sit across from me."

About 45 minutes later, I texted him "Are you coming?" and he quickly repllied "No". BUT when I turned around, he was already there. Oh he was pulling my leg... i thought. I went up to him and said "you ARE here....lol...." He said, "yeah I'll be right over". It just happened to be my turn to sing karaoke so I went up to sing. He went to the bar, I'm assuming to get a drink. I was all smiles. He came. He IS interested, i thought. He initiated contact and everything.

BUT while I was singing he left. I saw him leave, but I thought he was just taking a phone call. He never came back in... That's when I freaked out.... and the fact that I had a couple drinks didn't help my sanity either. I was extremely confused... WHY would he go out of his way to show up but then leave?? At the time I could not wrap my head around what happened... But now I'm thinking it's just like being stood up. Someone says they will meet you and then don't.

And do you think I was able to keep my dignity and just blow him off... think again. I called him and texted him. I wanted answers.... Would you believe he actually called me back and said he was coming back. And I believed him.
:-( But alas, he didn't come back. So my night was ruined because all the other potentials went out the window for me. I still thought he was coming back. I felt heart broken to some degree... but at the very least I was extremely disappointed. I just kept saying "this doesn't make any sense.... I understand a guy just disappearing ... but to show up and then lie. What is up with that...."

Bottom line for me is that I've deleted him out of my phone... NEXT!!! I'm treating this like being stood up. I'm not an angry bitter person, but he is now only on the friends list and WON'T move back into the potential list.... He's just not that into me... and I'm not interested in being treated that way..... But I got that wise advice from my sister the next morning. She told me, "you are insane." because I was still hoping he had a good explanation. So, I said, okay you're right. So, what would a sane person do? And she said, dump him. So that's where my head is now... moving on ....

Loonybunny ~ who's living up to her name loony ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: loonybunny
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 2:59pm

Wow, that sucks! Well first off, you have to just let it sit because there is nothing more that you can do. Plus getting a good explanation from a man is a tall order...god knows I've never heard one. Fortunately, you know you can reel them in ;) and won't have a problem having a bit of fun to forget about him.

Definitely a next and don't hold your breath for an explaination :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: loonybunny
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 6:40pm

Hmmm... the word 'flaky' comes to mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
In reply to: loonybunny
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 7:12pm

Chalk this one up to lessons learned and move on.

beachguy was always a bit flaky, anyhow, and I think his texting you and coming over in the first place was a booty call, or something very close. IF he'd truly been interested, he wouldn't have waited until he was already out before contacting you.

I think he probably left when he realized you were having a good time and probably wouldn't leave with him. It doesn't really matter if that's the reason, though.

I think this is a good example for ALL of us to not be so quick to disregard what we have right in front of us because of what might be coming through the door.

Good luck, and keep getting out there!

Moody, who knows that what's in front of her is amazing


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 6:52pm
Wow, what a total jerk.