Sad tonight

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Sad tonight
5
Mon, 07-07-2008 - 2:54am

Hi all,


Just want to vent a little....I had a baby ten months ago, and separated from her dad since she was born.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 07-07-2008 - 7:00am

Welcome!!

Okay - listen - I have to tell you my true gut feeling. You have been through so much change - to have a baby first off - that is a huge life change for you. And then to have to deal with the father of the baby going to prison for murder charges - that has to be unsettling even if innocent until proven guilty.

So, I think if I was you, I would want to concentrate on me, my baby and my future - and get that going good - so that you love YOU first and have a more settled life. THEN you are going to be so picky you won't want to be with a man who asks you all these sex questions and then writes that he is in a relationship with a friend on MySpace. You will have your best luck with men and relationships when you are 100% in love with yourself and your own life and you have a good path for you and your baby.

It doesn't matter if these ones are going to someone else- what matters is that you wait and you find a guy who treats you like a queen and who loves to talk to you and who thinks you are wonderful - and not any of this because of the SEX!! You have to wait on that and see if they really like you for you and not that they want to get their rocks off and have a booty call.

Stick around and read our other posts - you can learn a lot from the ladies here.

Hope you and baba are doing well - welcome again to the mother's club - it is the BEST BEST BEST club on earth!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Mon, 07-07-2008 - 10:25am
Thank you so much, I opened this message board to see your advice...I am trying my best, I am working two part-time jobs and my daughter goes to a daycare.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 07-07-2008 - 2:06pm

Ah - going to school in the fall is a good thing! Right now you are deep in the trenches of a lot of work for supporting yourself and taking care of your baby and getting ahead for the future.

Do you have friends or family who can help you with the baby? At the very least it might help you to find a way to get a little "me" time - for doing something by yourself or just getting out and mingling with adults. I agree that the bar friends are not really the ticket. But maybe when you go back to school you can have a study group or something.

It sounds like the baby's father really has his own mess to deal with - I don't think you should spend any of your precious resources to do that - he has to do it - and maybe he will in time - but your life has to move on for the good of you and your baby.

Keep that precious angel warm and safe - they are only little for a short time. HUGS!!

Don't be a stranger - we hope you stick around and keep posting in our threads or by keeping us updated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 4:57am

Here to another sleepless night,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 8:42am

Oh sweety - you had a bad night! I can remember those seemingly endless nights of when the baby was fussy or sick or teething - and it is hard and exhausting.

Use the caller ID on your phone and do not talk to anyone who is bugging you - just don't answer. Or learn to say I just can't talk right now the baby needs me and hang up pronto - do NOT go into long detailed explanations because you do not need validation for being tired and taking care of the baby. Most people do not realize how consuming and exhausting a new baby and young child can be.

I think you should try to find some moms in your area - at the park or free library story times or even in the doctor's office - so you can make new friends who will have the same interests.

Rest well!! There are new mom boards on here as well - did you look for those? Not that we do not want you here - but I bet you can hear a lot of good stories as well as share yours and that will help too. YOu need like-minded people for positive support right now.