Sad...I'm losing my love

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Sad...I'm losing my love
34
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 1:23am

hello all,


I took the advice and posted on the codependancy board. I just posted about what happened to me tonight and you all have been so incredible to me that I wanted to tell you. I have copied here what I wrote to a woman who is in a very similar boat with her SO.

~Pacific~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 1:32pm

Hi April,


Thanks for your encouragement. I do want to mention that although it is possible that he is motivated to change because he does not want to lose me, I know deep inside HE has to be ready to change, despite my involvement. I can really, REALLY, relate to wanting to feel that I am that one person who will turn him around for good...but the downside to that belief is that if he fails and slides back to his ways, then I am set up to feel like a failure. That is why I am learning to let him own his actions and decisions, and that is so hard for me because by nature I am a rescuer type.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 2:18pm

You are so sweet thank you!

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 2:34pm

I am so inspired! April, you are truly a strong person and to have taken such pain and turned it into a life lesson is incredible. What is really amazing to me is that you are a big enough person to actually feel empathy for her, his wife now, after everything that happened...that you can say it must have been hard for her. I have to hand it to you, I do not know if I could be that understanding but I strive to be that kind of person. Thank you for sharing your story, it is amazing to me how much I learn from the inner strength of so many here. You are an example of that...surviving pain and turning that pain into love and growth. I am in awe!!! Thanks for reminding me of that inner strength, the ability to survive the hardest times imaginable..


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 3:19pm

See--I love this board because everyone here is so encouraging and inspirational--I never thought of myself as an inspiration--just someone who stopped being a push-over!

April

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