Second date....can't wait for 3rd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Second date....can't wait for 3rd.
11
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 2:39am

Wow, what a great time....it's 1:30 AM and I still can't sleep.

We didn't do anything special, a movie and some coffee after...

We held hands and she cuddled up to me in the theater....boy did THAT feel perfect. She was messing with her hair a bit over coffee (bodylanguage???).

We're going to try to get together in a couple weeks. But I hope to chat with her on the phone in between.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 10:03am

t bone,

I admit I'm jealous. I cannot get one single date off of e harmony. I've never even gotton to the phone call stage yet! If I'm lucky enough to make it to open communication then I find out that we are so fundamentally different that I can't believe we were matched.

But, sorry, I didn't mean to rain on your parade! I hope things continue to go well because it all sounds so wonderful and romantic so far. You're right on about the hair. That's a huge sign. It's the nonverbal equivalent of saying..." come hither...run your fingers through my hair..."

Keep updating

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 12:18pm

I thought about the hair thing when J did it. And I love running my fingers through hair...but I hesitated....so I let it pass.

Lesson learned....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 12:19pm

Amy,

I've not had a lot of luck with e-harmony either....but it is the most thorough of them all. I've had two "one-date-wonders" and now J.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 3:54pm
Congrats! Your updates are fun to read - and I wish you all the best - thanks for sharing with us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 4:07pm

T bone,

I just want to clarify- I didn't mean that J. was actually inviting you to touch her hair- just that when women do that it is to call your attention to this aspect of their femininity. Sometimes we dont even know we're doing it. Yes, it definitely would have been a bad thing if you reached out and touched her then.

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 4:09pm

Incidentally, one more thing- how long have you been on eharmony? And do you usually initiate the communication or wait for the women to initiate? Do you communicate with each match or close some of them right away?

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 4:17pm
I'm glad it went well!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 6:33pm

Hi Amy....

Let's see....most of the time I initiate communication...I did with J. But I've had women initiate it as well.

Some of them I close before communication, if it is obvious that it would not work...

...for example, a mid-30's woman, no kids, never been married...that kind of thing...

Also, if a match has things in her "things that I can't live without" section like:

Shopping
Makeup
My BMW

I tend to drop those too.

Also, I usually close those that have next to nothing in their initial profiles.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 7:42pm

Thanks. I just wanted an eye view of the process from the other side ( the male side).

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 11:55am

That is a good assessment. Thanks for sharing "the other side's" view!

AZ-tbone, do you like to jump right into fast track communication? Or do you have favorite initial questions you like to ask? I would love to hear what those are!!

I was on eharmony for a year and did meet some interesting people. We did seem to have a lot in common and I always enjoyed meeting someone new and corresponding through that site.

(However the circumstances of my matches always proved to be prohibitive for me - like multiple children from multiple marriages, someone who travels extensively, someone who wants me to travel extensively with them, older men with no children, lives too far away, etc.) I thought it was a lot of money for the few matches available for me - but that is probably a reflection of my age group.

But the greatest thing about eharmony for me was to learn about myself from taking the rather extensive online questionaire. And to develop my list of must haves and can't stands.

I also received great ideas for initial questions/conversation starters. I really liked how eharmony guides you to find a lot of the important information you need right away from the information they require in their profile to the initial questions in the open communication process - some of my favorites included:

- how is your parent's relationship now?
- do you have a temper?
- what do you like to do in your spare time?
- what is your idea of the ideal vacation?
- what are some things you hope your partner would share with you?

Of course the other great thing was the amount of control you can have with eharmony. The minute you don't like something you read you can "close" that person's profile and not have any more communication with them.

I would highly recommend this site to all on here - you can take the questionnaire and develop your must have/can't stand list without paying and even see who your matches might be. You don't have to pay unless you want to communicate.

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