Second Wedding questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Second Wedding questions
13
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 11:23am
What do you think about a second wedding?

I'm divorced with a child. My bf has never been married. When we get married, should we just go for a small "chapel" wedding with no one there but family? Should we go to a justice of the peace just us? Should we have a regular wedding?

My mother thinks that there is no need for a regular wedding. I was just wondering what everyone's opinions were on it.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 11:28am
It should be what you BOTH want and can afford with people around you that love you and support you!! And this may not necessarily be what your mom wants....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 11:44am
Disagree with mom - besides it isn't her decision. A wedding now isn't about being a "virginal (hahaha)" bride, first time married thng. You are joining 2 families!!!!!! That is a celebration!!! You have found love after love was lost! That is worthy of whatever type of cermony and celebration you desire! And your SO hadn't been married??? Doesn't he want a party of some sort?

Now-a-days you can do whatever you wish. You can have a huge pig roast and bonfire and get married at a park with a pavilion in jeans and a T-shirt or in a huge church and hall with all the splendor. This is the first party you and him will be hosting as a couple and it should be whatever you wish. Don't worry about what people think you "should" do. Do what you want! I really believe making decisions based on what other people think is the wrong way to make a decision! HAVE FUN! But do think about your budget and what is financially smart as well.

GOOD LUCK and stop back. I have helped plan all kinds of weddings and do favors, decorrations and invitations and even silk flowers for people and I can tell you that all weddings are fun - even chapel quickies - it is just about what will make you happy. If you need any ideas please ask!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 11:49am

Hi!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 12:22pm
Wow Maggie - that is the most wonderful story - I am so impressed. I love the way you two handled that!! I so agree with the guest list and the elegance and the honey moon. And I love your tips on how to save money and write the vows. I pray that I may one day be in your shoes!!
Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 12:27pm

Hi Starfire01!


I think you're new here.

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 2:21pm

I think you should do what you BOTH want, no matter what ANYONE else thinks. There are no social "rules" about this, and even if there were, the heck with them. Do you want a wedding? Are you ok with going through that again?


My DH was married before he met me. He had a HUGE traditional wedding. He did NOT want any kind of wedding. But I never had one, and he wanted me to have whatever (and he truly meant whatever) kind of wedding I wanted. If I wanted a ceremony on a beach (which incidentally that was what we both wanted, but that made my mom really sad) that was fine. If I "needed" the big wedding, he felt that I was entitled to that.


We had a smaller wedding in a lodge. Me in a gown, he in a tux. Short wedding. VERY small cake and punch reception and then had our family stay at the lodge overnight with us and we just had a blast visiting, playing cards and having a great time.


In retrospect, it ended up being EXACTLY perfect for both of us.


Do what you want.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 3:29pm
Its up to both of you to decide what kind of wedding you want. IMO, your mother shouldn't really be the one to make the decision.

My husband had been married before, but I had not. Therefore, I still wanted to have a real wedding, so we did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 8:45pm
My friend got the same message from her mom...even though she and her fiance were paying for it...didn't they think they could use the money for something more practical? There was a lot of ribbing, too, about how many weddings exactly would they have to attend for her. (OUCH)

When she explained to her mom that she wanted a 'real' wedding because she was going to have a family with this man and the wedding photo album would mean a lot to her...why have a big album for the first marriage that didn't last, but not for this one which would be important for her kids?

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 11:43am
First of all Welcome and Congratulations on getting married.

My opinion, is like everyone else's. Don't listen to other people. Do what you want to do. My first and only wedding was a nightmare on hassle because I already had my first child out of wedlock and not from my husband (X now). My step-witch (step mother)all but ruined my wedding. She told me she would get me a hairdresser for my hair and never did, she made jokes that I shouldn't wear white because I OBVIOUSLY wasn't a Virgin anymore and that she hoped a veil would be out. They wouldn't let me invite who I wanted and she said that if it would of been up to her, she would of thrown down a plate of sandwiches to my wedding, but because of my father, I should be grateful for the sit down dinner he had for us. Their were only 14 people and two of those were my friends. The rest people I never saw in my life. Awful. We had another reception in Germany the way we wanted it and it was truly romantic and small, but at least I did it how i wanted it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:13pm
I think you should have whatever makes YOU happy. I got married the second time around 3 months ago. Shane was married once and so was I and we both had HUGE weddings for the first. We wanted something smaller, but very special. So we used the Tyler Municipal Rose Garden Center. It has a gorgeous area with a bridge that we exchanged our vows on. Lots of beautiful roses all over and Dogwood trees and parklike lamp posts and benches. Very romantic. We invited about 80-100 people and most of them showed. Many of them stood. We rented about 10 chairs for the older guests who needed to be seated.

We had a large reception with lots of food and a band. We wanted the small quick wedding, but wanted the party after to celebrate. I think if you both want something small, have a quiet wedding in a chapel with just close family and then maybe have a big party where everyone can attend that. That way, we have the small part and the big part.

Just an idea.

Best of luck!

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

Pages