Sex, Kids and Priorities
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Sex, Kids and Priorities
| Fri, 04-23-2004 - 11:11am |
I just read this article and I think it would make for a fascinating discussion!
| Fri, 04-23-2004 - 11:11am |
I just read this article and I think it would make for a fascinating discussion!
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Aside from lock-out night (the family with 4 teens who kicks them out of the house occasionally -- a little weird), I totally agree with this article.
I think that most parents these days, and it seems to be more mothers than fathers, spend most of their money, time and energy these days on kids, and put sex and undivided attention with their SO at the very bottom of the list.
GREAT Article!!!
Jas and I both strongly believe this. I was raised in a household like the kind mentioned in the article. And yes, even to the point of having us teen gals make "other plans for an evening" and we weren't to come home until 10 or so. We knew why. And we said "Ewwwww, GROSS" but it was ok. Mags, we were old enough to do our own thing and probably would have anyway, so it was ok with us. No one felt unwanted at home. And yep, it was HUGE to us, looking back, to very clearly see our parents so
Dylan is almost 5, but he knows to knock on the door if it's closed. He can go watch cartoons for a little while and be completely entertained to give us some time alone. And evetually, he will know what's happening, but he will just have to deal with that because it's important. He also sees us being playful in the house. But nothing inappropriate for him to see. If Dylan happens to walk in while we're smooching, it's fine. We sit close, hold each other and touch while he's there and if he didn't see those things, he might wonder one day if we really love each other.
Great article! I'm glad people believe in couples getting their time too!
Mel
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As for how you do that, I guess we're lucky. We were talking the other day about the fact that we're having more fun than most married and single people that we know. And no, we don't schedule it but we don't neglect the little things that keep the embers glowing. We do have a rule that dd is not allowed in the basement without asking. She knows that a closed bedroom door is off limits (although we do have a lock just in case LOL) so we can slip back into bed on a Sunday morning and we impose a strict bedtime for her. She doesn't have to go to sleep right away but we need our private, quiet time and she needs hers. And we take a few minutes every day when we get home from work to have a glass of wine or whatever and sit on the couch and just talk and reconnect with each other. Dd isn't banned from the room but generally she wants a little wind down time to herself and plays in her room during that time.
Okay, I have to be the voice of dissent I guess.
I wish to God we had this society of over-involved parents.
Hi Maggie
I have been a full-time working mom, a stay at home mom and now work part-time.
I know it's different now.
But I was required to call mom at work when I got home and I could go outside or to my friend's house as long as she knew where I was going to be. I had to come home for dinner when she called and do my homework. My mom was adamant that she know where I am at all times. And she had phone numbers so she could check in.
I think that if you're a responsible parent, you can have a well-adjusted child no matter how you have to live. Take my situation...Dylan is (like most of you) from a divorced home and he has to travel a long way to see his father. He doesn't see his daddy as often as some kids from divorced homes do, but more than a lot of them as well. Yes, he misses him, but he's well adjusted. I do take time during the day just for me. I don't work, so I have a lot of housework and errands to run and he no longer goes to daycare so he has to go with me if I have to run out. He loves it. He tells me it's fun. And I hate that we don't get to have as much quality time as we'd like, but the house would fall apart if I didn't clean it. So I make plans for the day. I clean and do laundry until a certain time, we run whatever errands need to get done that day, and we eat lunch together and we talk and play a while, but I then go back to some other chores and then spend an hour maybe just laying on my bed watching a tv show I like or something like that. And I might be folding towels while doing so. But that's my time and I shut the bedroom door.
Dylan also has a strict bedtime. Shane and I need our alone time even if it's just sitting and not saying a word.
I think spending time with kids is important like Tara says and we do make lots of time for Dylan. Shane has his own special time with Dylan before bedtime...they wrestle and play fight. Dylan asks for it each night. And then after his bedtime, we hang out together and enjoy the silence.
Mel
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My wife and I get up 0345 (too early); sleep is precious. Therefore, we came to a mutual agreement about time for sex.
2-My son has seen us hug, kiss, pat a fanny, etc. during the day. I like to hug my wife while she is cooking. Also, my son has seen me massage my wife's legs & feet after a long day. mac
Thanks for the good article!
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