Sex Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Sex Question
24
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 6:23pm

This is a question I've been struggling with and wanted some of

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
In reply to: michleutz
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 6:43pm

I think there all sorts of variable and exceptions to every rule. But there is a general "rule" about waiting until you are exclusive .. at least a

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
In reply to: michleutz
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 7:17pm

I agree with Pac... there are general rules but every situation can be a little different.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
In reply to: michleutz
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 8:44pm
I think it is up to the individual on when sex happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: michleutz
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 10:22pm

It's a good question and really the answer varies because of comfort level and security factor, what you're looking for and what you will tolerate.

I wait until I have the talk to avoid misunderstanding- I am not interested in dating or sleeping with more than one man at a time and am more comfortable for him to feel the same. This also allows talk of a more personal level- sexual preferences, experience, the disease factor (when did you last get tested), birth control, etc.

Do what you're comfortable with and don't worry too much about the "rules" of it.

Winter Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: michleutz
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 10:43pm

Ok, I may rot in He!! for this, but I in fact slept with CM on our first in-person date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: michleutz
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 8:54am

I haven't read the other responses so that I wouldn't be influenced by them. I don't know that I think you have to hold off for a long period of time. I do think that you should spend some time together and see that you have stuff in common before hopping in the sack if you are looking for something more than that. It is nice to at least get to know them a little first and see if you actually like the guy. I think a few dates and some conversation should happen before hopping in the sack.

I don't know that it is even always a mistake to have sex early on. I think that most people (especially over thirty and divorced) don't really think you have to hold off having sex or you must be easy. That is kind of silly. Now if you give in on the first date... wellllll, that may not look great ;o).

Have fun and do what feels right. Let things progress naturally. All relationships are different.

Priscilla

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: michleutz
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 9:12am

Well the big payoff for waiting is that if you do "it" too soon you end up finding out all kinds of crap about the other person after it's too late.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: michleutz
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 9:54am

B, you little vixen!!! :-)


Michelle, I agree with everyone else - it's YOUR comfort level with the situation, not the 'rules' that should dictate the physical aspect of a relationship.


Besides, rules were made to be broken, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: michleutz
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 10:07am
There is no right or wrong way when it's right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
In reply to: michleutz
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 11:32am

Thanks for all the input!


It's just something I've been pondering b/c I have been known to hop in the sack too quickly and I think that has sent the wrong message to some guys.

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