Shane Moved Out
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| Wed, 04-25-2007 - 10:37pm |
I am hurt but I do accept and support his decision. I know it is best right now because he needs time away to resolve his anger at me for all I have accused him of and I need to stand on my own for a while. He did this for US, not for himself. I know some may consider it selfish. He's living 4 miles away, it's an efficiency apartment not even as big as our living room, and he sleeps on an air mattress. Hard to believe it's worth that, but maybe it is for him. He can regain some sanity.
I mean let's face it, I divorced and then married him within about a year and a half. I didn't even take time to fix my insecurities before jumping into this relationship, let alone, marriage. I put all that on the backburner and because I was busy, had no idea how bad off I was. He had time to heal. He did counseling, he went through his suicidal time, and he moved on. He was ready. I was not, but I couldn't accept being single.
I can now. I know that I may be without him for my life, but I may have him back. I cannot control that. I can control how I act and how I handle this time in my life and I choose to support him and be his friend because he deserves that. He's not a bad mad. Yes, we have fought and used verbal daggers and hurt one another immensely but when it comes down to it, we really do love each other and we didn't learn how to communicate. Hardest lessons learned are those learned too late, but it is never too late to learn to better yourself, even if you do not end up getting what you wanted out of it, you still become more stable and happy and that will benefit you in many ways.
I am seeing a counselor and Shane will go with me next time. I feel positive that it will be a good experience for us.
~Mel~

Oh wow - this is a definite turn of events - before it was sounding more like a threat but now he is out.
I hope I am wrong, but I have a bad feeling about all of this, Mel. I do hope you are getting your ducks in a huddle so to speak. It is a good idea to plan and expect the worst from a financial and legal standpoint. Counseling is good - as always - but you should be prepared to turn on a dime if need be and do it quickly to preserve your financial status.
Your last two paragraphs are what I was hoping to read from you. I am sorry he went, but I do believe that everything works out the way it's supposed to in the end.
If he comes back, it will be after you've gone through counseling for you, after you've accpeted yourself for what and who you are, and after you've come to terms with your life. If he doesn't, you will still have done all of those things, and will be strong and smarter about yourself and what you need.
Either way, you win.
Moody, sending positive thoughts
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What a rough time!
I am glad that you are reflecting, but with what West said, I don't like the smell of it. Make sure your ducks are in a row. You are in a vulnerable emotional state right now but you need to keep grounded and start thinking about making sure your financially stable. Your children come first, not your marriage to Shane. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Big hugs to you darlin! Wish I was in Texas to give ya a big squeeze!
- Cat