Shortest Date I've Ever Had

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Shortest Date I've Ever Had
4
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 12:17pm

Hi All,

Thanks for thinking of me... Unfortunately, there aren't too many details to tell. So this will be short. Last night must have been the shortest "date" I've ever had...less than 20 minutes and probably closer to 10 minutes. For real....

When I first saw him, I thought he looked much older than his picture, but I was willing to give it a shot since we had decent conversations on the phone. We walked around the bookstore (and I thought, hey how about my coffee). But as we looked at books, the subjects he like i didn't and the books I've read he didn't... So, it started to get akward and I'm still thinking "I thought we were going to sit down and have coffee" and I started thinking this was a waste of my time. Anyway, he says "I'm not feeling the chemistry I felt over the phone. But thanks for meeting me." I said, "Oh". I was really shocked. But then I said, "well, I appreciate your honesty. Alright, bye." And he walked out of the bookstore.

I'm pleased with myself that I'm not taking it personally. I learned that when you meet someone online, you really don't know them until you meet in person. Yes, I'm thinking of not meeting someone online again, BUT I'm not going to let one bad experience prevent me from trying again... At the very least, I didn't waste too much of my time. I suppose I'm slightly peaved that he didn't even buy me the cup of coffee that he offered over the phone. Maybe he really is a "cheap b*st*r*ed" like he said some other date called him. LOL. But nah, I shouldn't call him names... it just wasn't a connection. Next....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 1:07pm

The thing is that it is HIM not you. It sounds to me as though he is very much a chemistry junky - the wild kind of jump into bed now chemistry. This probably aligns with his career, too.

If he was a gentleman he would have bought you a cup of coffee and enjoyed your conversation. He would have taken an interest in the books you like and shown you some of the ones he liked.

The internet brings up all sorts. But it will give you valuable dating experience. So, while this one was short and a disappointment, it was valuable in the lesson it taught you. And us, too.

I think you got luckier that this one went away than if he did have that wild attraction for you. Bye bye and NEXT!!!!!

Thanks for sharing your story. I am sure the others will chime in!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 3:44pm

Hey, LoonyBunny!

Wow! Short date!

But, it sounds like it was for the best. First of all, if all he was looking for was immediate chemistry, who knows what else he was looking for from you right away (wink) and you don't need that. Second, having just gotten out of a situation where I felt no chemistry but let it drag on too long just to be "sure," you are probably better off that things went as they did. Like you said, you weren't feeling it either. This way, feelings didn't develop, things didn't get more complicated, etc.

Besides, the guy does sound cheap! I can't believe you two just walked around the bookstore and he didn't even want to sit down and talk with you and buy you a cup of coffee! How rude! Okay, so there is no chemistry, but at least buy the girl a cup of coffee for crying out loud!

So, all in all, it sounds like a very good thing that this guy is out of your life. Like you said, "NEXT!" :)

Thanks for the update!

HappyDays

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 3:56pm
Sorry that happened to you. No class and that unemotional detachment that I posted
earlier about. Thank God you found out fast was an a-- wipe he was. Better luck next time,
onward and upward!
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 3:58pm
Yeah, a bullet dodged on that one. No class, cheap, and likely was looking for the quick and easy score. NEXT!
And there is always a next one. Even lousy experiences like this are good as practice on the whole meeting new guys experience.