Should he stay overnight? DILEMMA!
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Should he stay overnight? DILEMMA!
| Wed, 12-12-2007 - 2:12pm |
OK. I met this great guy a year ago, and we've been talking casually on and off. After taking things slow and being casual for almost a year, we started talking more seriously around Thanksgiving. I went to visit him a couple of weekends ago, and had a great time.
Now, he has made arrangements to visit me this weekend and stay all weekend.

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How old is your daughter?
I wonder if there is a solution where she can stay at a friend's house one night and he can stay with his mother one night so it is not like he is going to be at your house the whole weekend with you and your DD - that would be maddening to me to be stuck with someone the whole weekend?
Or maybe he can leave early in the morning and then go for coffee so it is not so evident that he spent the night?
Creativity is in order. It depends on YOUR morals and on whether or not your child will be comfortable having a stranger in the house for a whole weekend. That might turn out to be not so good by the end of it.
What a bummer that your grandmother let you down at the last minute. I wonder, too, if he can pick another weekend?
I do like Judy's suggestion that you see about a sleepover on one night so that the two of you have some alone time...
Koko, that really stinks about last minute bag-out. But sometimes that happens!
I like the suggestion to have your daughter do a sleepover at a friends house one night. That way she is excited about doing something w/ a friend and doesn't concentrate on time missed out w/ you. (At least that's the way my 8 yr old looks at it).
However, I would NOT have this man stay overnight at your house w/ your daughter there, even "waking up in the next room". If I understand you correctly, your daughter has NEVER met this man, even though you've known him in a LDR for a year. So it would be a total stranger to her, and even though she wouldn't see him in bed w/ you, I imagine it would be a shock to wake up w/ a strange man in her house. Also, if this is a LDR and they've never been around each other, you don't know how they will interact w/ each other. Combine that w/ the "stranger at the breakfast table" and I think it would be a bad idea. I don't think he should stay over and leave early either. What if she wakes up early or in the middle of the night? And, to be the devil's advocate, what if he decides to go in her room while you're fast asleep?
Well, I highly doubt she was going to allow him to spend the night without introducing him to her daughter first- so there wouldn't be a "stranger" at the breakfast table.
Trutheseeker:
I think you're right. My daughter is a sensitive soul and not very open to strangers, unlike myself! lol! It takes her a while to warm up to people and she's shy at first meeting.
No doubt that she'll feel strange about a man she's never met before hangin around the house. Plus, what do I do with her when I go to meet his mother? He says that his mother would also love for us to stay the night, meaning that she's already prepared a room for him and I - separately, of course! And that she's already probably looking forward to it.
Even though the guy has a son of his own, is a baseball coach for the kids in his community, a former pitcher for the major leagues and has gotten all kinds of great community service awards, you never know these days. That's the thing about having a daughter in these days and times. And even a son, now! Horrible! Time will tell how they warm up to each other, but for now, it would be too early to drag her into this relationship.
I'll probably have to pay big money to a friend or a loved one. I really don't trust too many of her classmate's friends here since I'm fairly new to the area and the only people I have here are my grandparents and
Koko, sounds like you put your daughter as priority and have a good head on your shoulders when it comes to the reality of dating w/ a child involved. Didn't mean to insinuate that you don't. I'm sure you will make the best decisions for her.
I would visit this man's mother of course, as it's always a good sign that a man introduces you to his mom,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, if she JUST met him in person on T day that's a whole 'nother story!
I thought they've had a LDR for a year and they've been seeing each other casually.
Koko, did you just meet this guy in person a few weeks ago? I misunderstood if that's the case. Then I agree with Rich.
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