Should I hang out with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2006
Should I hang out with him?
11
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 8:53pm

A guy I dated casually for 3 weeks that cancelled our date because he was "thinking about personal stuff" and then did not call for days... called after a week. He said he was afraid to call cause he did not know what my reaction would be. He told me that he was thinking about getting back with his ex wife and mother of his two kids. She asked him to get back together. They always remained friends and share custody of the kids. He is dating her to see how it goes. They broke up because she accused him of cheating, which he denies.

I told him to think about it carefully and do what is best and makes him happy. I wasn't mad or anything like he thought that maybe I would be. I really appreciate his honesty with me.

The thing is, he told me that he wants to remain just friends with me cause we have many things in common and likes me a lot. I feel the same way. I would like to keep him as a friend (nothing more). I can really be just friends with a guy I've dated. I'm still friends with my boyfriend of 4 years. Just friends... and we broke up six years ago. But I told him that I won't go out just the two of us because I don't want to interfere with him and the girl he is dating now. I won't even call him because of that. He said that he understands but that he wants to invite me to hang out with the group of ex-coworkers of ours (some of which know we dated)just as friends and that there's nothing wrong with that, that his ex has her own friends too. I'd really like to keep hanging out with them.

I don't want problems for his new relationship or for me because of people saying we're dating when we're not. Should I hang with our group or just avoid any place he is to avoid misunderstandings?

Thanx for your advice!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Sat, 02-10-2007 - 10:45pm

If you are both happy with just being friends , i would go! As long as he understands that is all it is going to be and you dont let him keep dragging you along. I am friends with my ex's and it can work out great, as long as i stand my ground and not let myself get used or get drawn into others problems.

-Steph

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