Should seperated parents hangout togethe

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
Should seperated parents hangout togethe
14
Sat, 12-23-2006 - 3:09am

SO, my current g-f is mad at me since, I was invited to go snowboarding with my ex and my son (my ex is my sons mother). It has been one year since we have hung-out. I thaught it would be good for my son to see his parents together. We had a good time. I have no want to get back with my sons mother.

Since, I'm in a relationship should I have stay home instead of going with my ex and my son?

Is there something I just don't understand here?

My g-f has a son also and she doesn't get along with her ex-husband. Interesting enough, she has hang-out more then I have with my ex this last year. Also, my g-f ex-husband wants her back and has tried to get with her many of times according to her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:32pm
She was lucky to have you help her through the divorce. But I think you have to realize taht she was really in no condition to establish or maintain anything near stable at a time like that in her life. Unfortunately it was all about her and her divorce instead of you both meeting on middle ground and getting to know each other and become friends. Hopefully the next time you will meet someone who is a little more ready and deserving of you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 2:49pm

Sorry to hear about that. It's better you find out now, than latter as it would have been much more painful. Like I posted earlier, don't ever let someone you're in a relationship
with set the terms of your relationship with your child or with your ex.
She is the mother of your child and for that, she should always have your
respect. Your goal should always be to have the best possible relationship
with her(I know easier said than done). It was wrong of the person that you were seeing
to try to interfere with that. It would be a deal breaker for me; as it speaks volumes
about charecter.

I would recommend at this time to establish a good co-parenting, working relationship with your ex, to better firm up visitation, etc.The rest will take care of itself.

It sounds like it was the wrong time for the both of you to be in a relationship. Use this experience as a valuble learing tool for your next one. Also drop by often, there are lots of great tips to be had here.

The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 3:47pm

It's not really in your kid's best interest to see you hanging out with the mom. The both of you will not get back together. My DS, who NEVER sees me with the ex, still has some delusions about me getting back with my ex. And, DS doesn't even want us all to live together. I don't understand the thought process.

I think it's too confusing when parents are buddies to the point that you're hanging out. It would be different if you had been married to your ex for 20 years and the kids are now adults. With young kids, keep it separate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 3:52pm

Sounds very weird that her ex was spending the night there. I bet she assumed you were up to something with your ex because there is still some kind of chemistry there with her ex.

Guilty people are often extremely jealous people.

Don't take her back.

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