Shy but Looking

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2012
Shy but Looking
4
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 12:39pm

I'm 33, single mom of a 5yr old and I would like to get back into dating. My problem is I am shy, unexperience with men,I don't know how to speak to them,and I get extremely nervous.  So, I tried a dating site (bpm.com) hoping I can start from there and see where it takes me. But no luck. The only men who contact me are much older man, creepy crawly's,those with too many children and those interested in just plain sex. That's not what am looking for as a first impression. Also, I haven't written a profile because I don't know where/how to start and I don't think many read it. Am I being to picky......? What are your suggestions?

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2012
Tue, 11-27-2012 - 3:50pm

I thought about online dating once, when I looked into it I didn't see the point. Why don't you keep on physical? Out of online I mean, dating seasoned daters is not a good idea in my opinion. Unless you live in a small town where everyone knows each other you shouldn't have a problem, just go about your day and you'll eventualy run into someone.

Good luck! Laughing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2012
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 4:26pm

Thank You for the advice I will use them when am ready to write my profile. Also, it was great to get a response from a male point of view.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 11:00am

Loneie-

Hi. You say you're shy and inexperienced. On a positive note, if you're a single mom, by definition, you've had some experience with the male gender. How did you first meet the father of your child? Was it through friends or was it while participating in an activity you like?  Maybe do what you did to meet your ex in order to meet a new guy.

As to internet dating, there are sites where one can get better results. If one site is a complete dud, look elsewhere.I did much better on specialized sites with women who shared my religious beliefs. However, there is no internet site where you can completely avoid bad experiences though. None have yet to manage this for whatever reason. I met my wife online, but only after kissing a lot of frogs to find my princess. Women complain about liars and men who shouldn't be contacting them. Men complain about liars and women not responding to them. It would be an obvious improvement and technologically feasable for a site to block men who don't meet set criteria--age, relationship goals, number of children, etc--and to require women to answer men who do meet the basic criteria--but no dating sites do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 1:30pm

I think you might do better trying to meet guys in real life--and not in a bar or club either.  If you do some kind of activity that you enjoy and get to know men as people instead of just dating patrners, you will end up acting more natural with them and get to know the real person.  Then a romance can develop more naturally.  I thikn OLD is hard even for experienced daters--you have to weed out all the jerks, guys who just want sex, the scam artists.  But if you do OLD, you have to write a profile because otherwise how will men know what you want--you should put your age limits in there, and describe yourself and what you are interested in--do you want to get married eventually, are you looking for a serious relationship, what kind of guy do you want?  If you think about it, that will help you narrow things down too.