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| Thu, 08-30-2007 - 12:57am |
I didn't see a separate board for single dads, so I decided to post my thoughts about single parenthood here. Like a lot of people here I just find myself feeling very drained and stretched to the limits all the time. I am a store manager for a retail chain with a 13 year old son and a 9 year old daughter and just feel like I'm in a constant struggle to not screw something up. I almost get the feeling sometimes that people are looking over my shoulder (moreso than they would at a father in a two parent household) waiting for me to make a mistake and of course when I do they are right there to offer me their unsolicited advice.
I have a great group of friends and co-workers and an awesome family but they have their own day to day issues to deal with and everytime I feel overwhelmed I want to call them up and vent, but it seems silly seeing as they have already heard it all before. So most of the time I find myself with this whole "me against the world" attitude when I know that really isn't the case. It just feels like that sometimes.
With school starting back up for my kids and trying to get back into the non-summer routine, everything is pretty nerve wracking. Having spent more money than I would have liked to on clothes and supplies it seems like I'm more financially strapped than ever (the huge summer electric bills aren't helping either), plus the ridiculous gas prices....urgh...it's just really hard. With all of this stress kind of culminating now at the end of summer my temper has been really short with my kids and I cussed my daughter out today for playing with the blinds in my room. Of course I apologized to her later, but God I feel like crap right now. Thanks for letting me rant...

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Welcome to our board and our world!!! You can vent here any time. And yes, it is only a single parent that can understand the "one arm paper hanger" routine we all live.
I don't know as I have any advice - because I cannot make your electric bills go down or your gas any cheaper - but we all understand.
You are lucky to have close friends and family who you can talk to. If you don't feel you can turn to them when you're frustrated...you can email me (singletoncrew@cableone.net). I think we're in the same boat! Jennie
How many years have you been single? We have a few single Dad's on this site as well, so don't feel left out. The board should really read Single Parents and Dating! Maybe we should ask the CL's to change it! I would hate anyone to think we are only biased when it comes to females. I have my children 24/7 and as you may have read my thread, I am totally drained and though I failed to mention it: totally strapped! I feel overwhelmed and short tempered when I get home to! I would really try and take some me time. Do you have "me" time? It is something we encourage one another to get through the dumps! Please feel free to vent anytime you want here! We are here for each other that what this board is about: sharing great good bad sad and ugly times.
Welcome to the board and our world!
I too am a 24/7 single parent, and though I'm currently in a committed relationship, I remember all too well what being emotioanlly and financially tapped out was like.
We're always here to vent, and like some of the others suggested, I'd certainly invest in some "me" time now and again, if it's at all possible.
Stick around, if you read our posts, you'll see we're all in this together.
Moody, wishing her A/C was needed
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Well, I live in Texas so even at night it's like 90 degrees, so I have my air conditioner running almost 24/7, ugh. The only "me time" I really have is the time between when I get my kids to bed and when I go to bed, which equates to maybe a couple of hours to watch a movie or something.
I've been single for nearly 8 years after my ex decided to have an affair with one of her co-workers. I'm 32 (I got married young like an idiot) so a lot of my friends are just now settling down while I'm trying to find time to meet people and "get out there again" as they say. I have full custody of my kids and I love them more than anything, but with it being so hard to find "me time" it's even harder to find time to date and half them time I feel like, "What's the point?" Even if I met someone, how could make time to devote to them? I think we should all write to Congress and have them extend the normal 24 hour day into a 26 hour day, lol.
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Holy cow can I relate to that.
I try HARD to get my DD into bed by 9:30 so that I might have an hour and a half to myself. We have a very small appartment so when sh'e awake, she practically in my lap, lol.
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Me too. I just spent more than I could afford on her back to school stuff but she needed it. Gas proces here in CA is ridiculous. I struggle with finances too. We're all in this struggle together. Glad you can share with us...hang in there :o)
Ya know what? We ALL have out not so great parent days ... NONE of us is perfect. In fact, my dd has suddenly developed this RIDICULOUS IRRATIONAL fear of damn bugs. MOSTLY bees, yeah - i can see that - but
Dang it, R... Ave just looks so much older than 7.5!!!! My MonkeyBunny still looks YOUNG for his age. Just getting taller all the time- but not looking older! Ave looks like such an even mix of you and xh- sometimes she looks JUST like you, other times, she looks JUST like him- just depends on her expression! Although I know it's probably not neat for you to see him in her- but for her... I think that's a neat thing, that she has such a balanced mix of both parents.
Great new siggie pics!
~shrimpy, going waaay off topic for this thread here, but couldn't help it
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Hey Ang - yeah, she does look much older sometimes & i dont like it!
what are YOU complaining about! 90 degrees is winter! LOL! I lived in San Antonio Texas for 10 years and my sister still lives their. She told me it was the rainiest mildest summer yet! hehehe.
I live in the Carolinas where we have had a heat index of 107 or more! This week we cooled down to 94 and today I was told it's only going to be a beautiful 88!
ME TIME! I have my children 24/7. They GO to bed after I do! At least the oldest. I am so tired at the end of my work and school day that I just want to fall asleep. I live in very cramped quarters myself, so it seems that when the kids are awake they are in my lap as well. I share a room with my youngest, so I have no privacy. I know what you are talking about allll to well.
I'm 35 and I've been single for 7 years now. I have the worst trouble finding a relationship because it's ALWAYS something. I've decided to stop dating recently because the drama of dating with being a single 24/7 parent is just too much. Either the guy doesn't have children, or his children are WAY to manipulative or neither of us can make the time to date either because of career or kids.
I do not like to interract my children in my dates, but sometimes it leaves me no choice. If they have kids, then we figure they'll just play and we can sit and talk. That has worked out pretty well, but when the relationship is over the kids miss the other kids. It's seems no matter what I do, I can't do it right. I'm also very high strung with little patience because I'm just worn out!
Do you live in a fairly bigger city or town?
"Me time" consists of quiet time for yourself or doing SOMETHING for yourself. Not necessarily going out and partying. My "me time" consists of making sure I have a bath to myself with doors shut for 30 minutes. Reality is, it usually doesn't last that long unless I can get the children to play outdoors.
Do you have any family around? I know babysitting is out for you because its' so expensive as it is for me, but you should at least try to put enough on the side that you get out once or twice a month to spend time with your guy friends. If you can get by with once the week then do something for you that consists of doing something that you enjoy doing or once enjoyed doing, but haven't had time to do. It is important for all of us to realize that though we have a HUGE amount of responsibility on our hands, we are still our own individuals. I am still a woman and I still have needs for myself. Just as you are a man and have your needs. It is easy to forget those things, but very important to try and focus to make that time for yourself. You need to re-engergize. If you don't re-energize, how are you going to be able to keep up being the perfect daddy. I get short tempered and my fuse is short when I feel like all I do is parent all day.
Just keep reading the board and whereever you feel you can relate, post your thoughts. It's very helpful and you might be able to shed light on someone elses life as well. :)
- Catherine
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