Single mom and trying to date

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2007
Single mom and trying to date
4
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 3:13pm
Hello Everyone, Allison asked me where I meet the guys that I date. The last guy that I dated I met him when I went out for my 21st birthday, I went and talked to him and we dates for a few months. He was the one that I thought was the one, and then he told me he wasn't ready to be a dad. I haven't dated much since I have had my son. The couple of older guys that I met, one I used to work with, and then other guy is my friends cousin. The things I look for in a guy is honesty, caring, loyal, trusting, knows what he wants in life, has his head on his shoulders, and I do like them to be tall, over 6 feet (I'm tall).
Its so frustrating, I wish I could meet that guy, and spend the rest of my life with him. I'm tired of being alone. If any of you have any suggestions. Just let me know, I would love to hear from you. Thanks for listening.
Sandra
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 5:53pm

Hi Sandra,

How long have you been in the dating scene? I know it took me many dates to finally find a man who fits me. We've been dating for over 6 months. After going through a very nasty divorce with my ex (still going through a nasty custody battle, he wants to take my kids away from me), I'm not sure marriage is in my future. I would much prefer a long term relationship with someone who understands that a relationship is no easy task and someone who is commited to working things out instead of bolting.

I've tried the match.com thing and it didn't work out for me. There are too many "single" guys out there who don't want anything to do with a "single mom." I did go on dates with them to only find out what I knew all along - they didn't want the extra baggage. So, on a whim, I decided to post an ad on craigslist.org (not sure if you have this in your area) and after one day I got about 30 responses, then more the following days. I made it clear what I was looking for - a nice single dad and I was a single mom with 2 young children. I actually liked the craigslist thing. You don't have to put out your personal information or post a picture if you don't want to and best of all, you get to respond to the people YOU want to. So far so good!!!

None of us want to be alone and I'm very glad my ex decided to leave me. Here I am 28, with two small children and a second chance at life and love.....it's pretty sweet. It took me a long time to get over the being alone thing. Now, I know love is possible!!!

-Vanessa

Vanessa
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 8:07pm

Sandra,


Enjoy this time and have fun with it- really and truly.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 9:27pm

Alison is totally right!!! Have fun with this time and don't get caught up on one guy. As I've learned after dating for 18 months, I'm glad I didn't settle for the first guy I thought was a glimmer of hope that I would not be single anymore......thank god!!! As I've dated around, I got to see different personalities and meet different guys and the more I looked around the closer I got. My thoughts are different now than they were when I first was single. I have been seeing someone exclusively for 6 months and if things don't work out, I get back into the dating scene, have fun once again and sure enough someone will come along. Sure, I will come with some sadness but it's ok to be sad for a while (1 week max!!!) but always know if not him, someone else. Good luck!!

-V

Vanessa
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 9:13am

HI Sandra and welcome,

No one understands better how frustrating it is to meet someone than us. We are all in various phases of dating, searching, breaking up and being alone.

I just found a wonderful guy who has all the qualities I like and I for him. But he is a drinker so he has to go back to the pond. NEXT.

I think that if you are healthy and happy and not willing to settle you can do a great job at dating. You have to be happy alone and patient. It is only a matter of time and sticking to your standards. Plus a happy person attracts the right person.

Good luck - glad you found us - keep us posted and enjoy reading all of the stories as I have done.