Single moms prefer dating single dads?

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Registered: 05-15-2004
Single moms prefer dating single dads?
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Fri, 07-22-2005 - 1:51pm

Hi everyone, I hope it's ok that I post my question on this board. If this is a board meant to be for female perspectives only, I apologize.

I was just wondering if you single mothers felt more comforatable dating guys that have kids also, or if you would be open to dating men who don't have children.

I'm a 36 year old divorced guy (no kids), and I have tried online dating for well over a year now. In my experience, it seems that many single moms are looking for a man that has kids of his own. I recently corresponded with a woman with a young son, but she decided to cut things off because of that very reason. She said she would feel better getting involved with a man who had experience raising a child.

In a way, I can understand that viewpoint, but it's also somewhat discouraging. I have found that most single women in my age range have children from a previous marriage. I have no problem whatsoever dating women with kids, but it is a problem if *they* have a problem with it.

So, I was just hoping to get some good input from women who are out there in the dating game. :-)

Eric

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Avatar for tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 7:26pm

Eric
Just wanted to chime in that I never once wanted to date a guy because he had kids and had experience raising them, so therefore he'd be good with mine. After all, when I became a mom, I didn't have any experience raising kids. I actually shyed away from dating a guy with kids because of my own personal preference. There are women out there who are moms who will prefer a guy with his own biological children and those who will prefer one without and those who really don't have a preference. Don't give up.

Tara

 

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 5:38am
Yeah, the idea sounds great, but to be honest. I have NO information on her, except for her first name. She married later and as for my step-brother, I have no info and wouldn't know where to look. They vanished into thin air and my father refused to ever mention her name again. Matter of fact, he never told my step mom he was married to her. I accidently let the cat out of the bag when I was younger. Not realizing he never told them. His name was also sooooooo popular, it's like finding a needle in the haystack.
Avatar for incognito_mosquito
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 3:50am

"I was just wondering if you single mothers felt more comforatable dating guys that have kids also, or if you would be open to dating men who don't have children."

Hi. I actualy gave up on dating guys with kids because all the ones I went out with were overly involved with thier children and did not have the time to put into a relationship that I really needed. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't want any more children in my life.

I've been dating a single (engaged once but never married) guy my age for the last five months who doesn't have kids and isn't interested in having any of his own (but likes my daughter) and it's been working out very well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 6:37am

Hey mosquito - I have found the same thing as you regarding time. But I think that is because I have more time than most single moms.

It is great that you found someone who fits so well with your situation. How did you meet him?

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Avatar for lizbeth30
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:16am

Hey if I could find a man who was willing to accept my 2 children - I would have preferred that however most men DO NOT accept it after awhile. They are used to their freedom and when the NO SITTER issue comes up men get upset.

Just a fact... if you are one of the exceptions then Id have to say it was definitley her loss!

Best of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:52am

Your babysitting example is a good one to mention.

If you have a lot of sitters and generally are not usually caught without a sitter that is ideal. I like to be active and to go out so this is my situation. I have noticed it gets much better when the child is older because he can spend time at a friend's house and is out. Of course it is also easier with only one child.

But children do get sick and sometimes it seems this is at the worst possible time when you have very good plans. And someone does have to be understanding. I have found that most guys have more work interruptions to their lives than I do child interruptions - that is they have to work late or get something to do at the last minute.

And as for the guy - if he is generally happy at home than out he won't mind when you don't have a sitter.

So these are 2 very good things to keep in mind when you are dating. If a guy likes to be out a lot and your sitter situation is not good that might not be ideal. But if a guy who has no children likes to be at home and you generally have a balanced situation with your kids either being older or better sitters then you should be okay.

I did date one guy who did not have kids or want more of his own. And he loved staying at home and doing things with my son. So I know it can work.

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Avatar for incognito_mosquito
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 3:32pm

"How did you meet him?"

We met online. He said initially he wasn't interested in dating somebody with kids, but he gave it some more thought and is now really warmed up to it.

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