Single for a reason
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| Fri, 02-25-2005 - 12:15pm |
So I was browsing some boards yesterday, and a woman commented that she was having a hard time meeting men her own age (she's in her early 40s) and that all the single men she was meeting were "single for a reason".
And it made me think.
I have single girlfriends who are forever asking me and TT to set them up with one of our single guy friends. And I got to thinking, our single guy friends, well, they are single for a reason. One is a closet mysogynist. One is the cheapest man I've ever met in my life - and I would NEVER set him up with anyone. One is - well - he's a mama's boy. 42 years old and his mom comes to his house and cooks and cleans and does all of his laundry and grocery shopping for him. Sets his doctor's appointments. One is a workaholic. TOTAL workaholic. I don't think he's ever worked less than a 70 hour work week - and every vacation he's ever been on, he's cut short and returned home early - after working for a few hours via laptop and cell phone every day. All of these guys, without exception, are very available - but are single for reasons.
So I was talking to my brother last night (who is single for a reason - reason being he doesn't want the work of a relationship - which he readily admits) and he said "yeah, that's true - but think about - your girlfriend M, she's single for a reason, too. She's the most high maintenance chick I've ever met. And your girlfriend S, she is the shallowest, most materialistic girl on the planet. Hot as hades, but I'll never forget the look of disgust on her face when I said I got my swim trunks at Walmart. Which was funny to me considering she was eating my food, swimming in my pool. And then there is J. Doesn't every single person on the planet know all about what a butt her ex boyfriend from what? Like 6 years ago? was? She's the most negative person I think I know. You know my friend T? He calls her "Kirby Vacuum Cleaner" - cause she can suck all the fun out of any room. I think YOUR girlfriends are single for a reason just as much as your guy friends are."
Thoughts?

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I agree, Sheri, but at the same time I think we have to have hope and never give up. This is all the more reason to be all that you can be - and to constantly culture a good group of friends and activities.
I just met a great guy last weekend. He is still going through his divorce - and only a masseuse for me at this point - but this experience let me know that the possibility of meeting someone great is out there.
If you are not all you can be and busy and getting out then your chances could be less. I also think you have to have an open mind and make conversation with everyone.
I was talking to my bike mechanic today. He looks like the average mountain biker that works in a bike store to get a deal on his biking stuff and is happy like that. BUT upon conversation and questioning, I found out that he quit high school to race all over Europe on the Junior Olympic team and was quite a cyclist - won many awards. Now he is home and in school to become a paramedic. He is way too young for me but we had a great conversation and I came to respect him quite a great deal. He also did an extra good job on my bike to get it ready for a race. That experience taught me that you should really try to get to know everyone you meet.
You never know - the plumber, UPS driver or bike mechanic could turn out to be wonderful - and maybe they were there in your life all along.
You never know - the plumber, UPS driver or bike mechanic could turn out to be wonderful - and maybe they were there in your life all along.
True, true... I've met lots of really cool people by just making an effort.
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