Sitting on the fence pondering.....

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sitting on the fence pondering.....
14
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 9:36am

Ok, so ever since breaking up with Nascar I feel sooooo relaxed and anti-stressed and no longer unhappy! Wow! That is ALOT for someone that I thought made me happy. Isn't it??


So here is my predicament...


I'm actually considering dating again. However. Here is the problem. I feel great NOT dating. I'm actually quite happy with no drama in my life. However, I tend to cause some drama too.


I'm not sure if I should leave it alone, go at it very slowly and not go exclusive with anyone, but just date or what.


Frank my X fiance said that I would drive someone in the grave trying to make me happy. Of course he lied about a lot of things and he never followed through with anything that he said, but it struck a chord.


Maybe I am REALLY picky. And maybe I am someone that is never satisfied. Or maybe I just haven't found the right one for me.


I can't figure out why I had only long term relationships prior to my divorce and now I can't seem to barely keep on even 3 months and 6 months seems

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 9:58am

I think I am somewhat like you too. But with my EX I was not at all picky and after that I became so picky. This one guy whom I knew before biker used to tell me that no one can make me happy.. It has to be some supernatural being to be here to make me satisfied ( meaning normal human beings cant make me happy). Which is so not true. He was so irriatting for me (the cancerian guy) and he thought that he is so perfect that I have to be just happy he is with me. We were just dating and he used to act like

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 10:30am
OMG! I sooo understand what you mean! Nascar would constantly comment on something and it was sooo irritating. The more I think about it the more it dawns on me. However, we had great fun doing stuff but he was critical of a lot of things outside of our fun stuff. What kind of made me sad one day was when he discovered this teeny tiny red mark on my nose from when Nina whomped me as a baby with her head. The way he asked made me have a complex and then he said when I laugh I have an adams apple. I thought that was REALLY sad. I didn't like that at all! No one has ever said those things to me and it made me feel pretty self conscious afterwards. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 11:04am
Well, you have broken up with the past ones because they all had something not livable so that is good. Picky is good. And you don't really have strong feelings or drama from breaking up with nascar - if you have time why not start dating? It could be helpful to develop a strong must have and can't stand list and stick to that and try to weed them sooner - but with that said the things you discovered were ones you have to see over time. It just takes time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 11:10am

Cat, you've got so much going on right now.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 11:46am

When I met CNDG (Nov 2007), she did not want to date at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 11:54am

I agree with Mark that sometimes being with the right person helps you grow and be a stonger person. This doenst mean you will end up together. But there is a limit to how much you can grow just being alone.


I think keepin your eyes open is

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:27pm

This is the exact reason that I am trying to "play the field" right now...talking to a couple of guys, a lot of first dates, a couple of second dates.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:36pm

<<<>>>>>

I couldn't have said this any better. Nice and slow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 12:54pm

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 1:09pm

Yes pacific , I cant believe I wasted any time on him. But heck he was this seemingly perfect guy and everyone including my parents were like wow what a great guy.. while I was always irritated and stressed by him.. He liked constant drama and would act oversensitive.. I lost my freedom to express myself.. So glad I kicked him out. I wish I culd literally kick ;-).. lol.. There are moments sometimes even now I remember an incident and think hmm he deserved a kick..lol.


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