Hi myprecious, We had our first date in Nov 2006. Geez suddenly seems too long with new 2008 being here. I visited his family this Xmas and we spend most of our time together but it is a fact that I like my own space and alone time sometimes (which I think is normal). he needs less of that. But the new place is big enough for us to have enough space.
THis is what worked for me. My BF and I were spending all our nonworking time together, it got to be he'd just shower and get his mail at his apartment and that's it. Eventually he was just getting his mail there. This is all over a 1 year period of time. So by the time he officially moved in, it wasn't an adjustment. I barely noticed a difference. Mentally, we were both stressed because there wasn't the safety net of his apartment. But I had no doubts about it. It was a smooth transition.
Have you discussed this with him yet? I would DEFINITELY say, you make valid points. It's only a matter of months before you move in together anyway AND he has enough space, I would stongly consider it, discuss it with him and maybe make a list of pro's and con's and fears. Discuss those things with him and this will also help an understanding and a connection. It is definitely an exciting move! Can't wait to hear the decision.
My gut says that if you are confused or unsure about the move... then that means to NOT do it. I don't mean to not do it, ever... but to hold off until you are not so unsure. You are doubting it for a reason (even if it's within yourself and HE is not a relationship risk)- and I don't think you should jump right in, if something still bugs you about it.
I like the idea of keeping your apartment and waiting a month (if I'm reading it right- that you don't really have to move right NOW, but can wait til Feb??)- and having your BF get the new place... and you start trying to spend more time there during the month of Jan. And just ease into it a bit, maybe?
And if you guys REALLY haven't discussed completely, your expectations about who will pay for what, and what is expected... I suggest you do. Don't assume that he is FULLY OKAY with paying for everything, just because he isn't coming to you with some agreement to sign before moving in. While I'm not suggesting a contract necessarily- just make sure you both have talked about it, and agree on what the finances will be like. What about division of labor? Who will do the cooking/cleaning/garbage/laundry etc... all the usual things that you have to do when you run a household together?
The whole concept of living with someone 24/7 is something I'm sooo not ready for yet. :-P
Hmmmmm .... You know, it has been over a year. Youve both lived a life, youre not 22 yrs old. I dont know if one (at this age) EVER is completely 100% convinced something like this is right, until you try it. Its good, & smart, to have some reservations & thoughts. As long as you are both on the same page with everything, I would, if i were in your shoes, & i was 95% sure, i would go for it!
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
myprecious: Yes I did discuss this with him. Infact Iam actively helping him to find a place and he is considering only places that makes me feel wow. I had told him that I like to see how it would be in a townhouse style place since we are planning to buy a colonial in future. It also gives more privacy if one person has to work from home as compared to a single floor living. This was something I mentioned casually and after that if I point out a place that is single floor he
Hi myprecious, We had our first date in Nov 2006. Geez suddenly seems too long with new 2008 being here. I visited his family this Xmas and we spend most of our time together but it is a fact that I like my own space and alone time sometimes (which I think is normal). he needs less of that. But the new place is big enough for us to have enough space.
If I were you I'd probably go for it.
My gut says that if you are confused or unsure about the move... then that means to NOT do it. I don't mean to not do it, ever... but to hold off until you are not so unsure. You are doubting it for a reason (even if it's within yourself and HE is not a relationship risk)- and I don't think you should jump right in, if something still bugs you about it.
I like the idea of keeping your apartment and waiting a month (if I'm reading it right- that you don't really have to move right NOW, but can wait til Feb??)- and having your BF get the new place... and you start trying to spend more time there during the month of Jan. And just ease into it a bit, maybe?
And if you guys REALLY haven't discussed completely, your expectations about who will pay for what, and what is expected... I suggest you do. Don't assume that he is FULLY OKAY with paying for everything, just because he isn't coming to you with some agreement to sign before moving in. While I'm not suggesting a contract necessarily- just make sure you both have talked about it, and agree on what the finances will be like. What about division of labor? Who will do the cooking/cleaning/garbage/laundry etc... all the usual things that you have to do when you run a household together?
The whole concept of living with someone 24/7 is something I'm sooo not ready for yet. :-P
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
Hi all, Thanks for your messages.
myprecious: Yes I did discuss this with him. Infact Iam actively helping him to find a place and he is considering only places that makes me feel wow. I had told him that I like to see how it would be in a townhouse style place since we are planning to buy a colonial in future. It also gives more privacy if one person has to work from home as compared to a single floor living. This was something I mentioned casually and after that if I point out a place that is single floor he