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| Sat, 07-05-2008 - 4:18am |
I'm having a GREAT 3 day weekend. Saw Cute Widow Thursday. She made me a yummy Thai dinner at her place and ate with her daughter. Her daughter was bratty but then she's an almost teenager. According to CW, she's just "showing off" for me and not usually like that.
We went downtown for "First Thursday" where all the art galleries that are in this one district have an open house. They usually have free wine and hourdurves and live music. We met my 60 yr old friend T and had a lot of fun walking around the galleries and downtown in the warm Summer weather checking out the artwork, listening to live music and drinking cheap wine. We ended the night at one of those cheap conveyor sushi places but had killer jazz and there was a bar upstairs. Nice thing was that CW was checked for her ID (she's 49! and the drinking age is 21). I love being a dirty old man!
Today we took her tandem kayak out on the river and tooled up to listen to the 5 day live blues concert out on the waterfront. Tonight me and my kiddos with her and her daughter went to have dinner with my 60 yr old friend T along with our 42 yr old friend and her BF at T's condo. We BBQ'ed chicken, brats, scallops, and salmon. Afterward we went down to the waterfront to watch two barges worth of fireworks shoot up. We had fresh strawberries, fresh whipped cream and ice cream for dessert. We all had a great time except for CW's daughter. She was dropped off back at home after dinner.
No stayovers. It was great I got to show off my great kids and of course everyone loved them.
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb

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Yah, try not to read to much into the kids showing off thing.. its true. Mine did it to the heart breaker big time. My six year old even said "Are you going to marry my mommy?" Of course I was dumped about 4 days later. That along with a million other things run through my head as to what ran him off.
In my case my youngest is 6, she watches disney where you meet a man, fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after in less than two hours. I hate the idea of a man reading more into her saying something like that.
Anyway back to the showing off thing.. Oh so true. Mine do it anytime they meet someone new. (male/female/co-worker w/e)
And yes CW is very very cute.. grats to you and have fun!
and by then, it was too late."
Hi Mark,
Mark this is a great report - you are both enjoying very fun things. I hope it just keeps getting better and better.
My uncle married his best friend's widow (his friend died of cancer) and she had a teenage girl - and the girl was a total brat for many years - but now they are great friends and he gave her away at her wedding - it just takes time for kids. So I would keep going on and just take it in stride and don't worry.
What a great weekend you had - and her picture is very beautiful!! I am glad that your kids enjoyed their time as well!! :-)
Mark, she is adorbale! Really cute! Glad all is going well, except for teen girl!
I havent weighed in on that b/c Ive been a bit MIA, but i would say that although yes, her behavior isnt appropriate AND isnt mature ... if her mom doesnt think too much of parading men in this quickly, I'd be a pissed of teen as well. Just my thoughts.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y207/Rlch/dance08-1.jpg
~~Tiny
I love walking in the rain, because no one knows I'm crying..........
~Karen˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ
I know for any behavior that is negative especially in a teen is a combination of hormones and something going on inside. I don't take it personally. I don't like to second guess on how CW deals with her daughter's behavior either but I have formed opinions.
T, the dinner host chastised CW's daughter about saying negative stuff to CW though.
I'm the second guy CW's daughter has met post father's death 3.5 yrs ago. The other one was a guy that CW was involved with for a year and dumped in January. The daughter became attached to him so there is that to factor in.
So yes, Marshall Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication process talks about how our negative emotions are from unmet needs. CW's daughter's fears may have resulted in her bratty behavior.
I am glad I don't have personal experience of bratty behavior with my DD15 (yet!). I have been REALLY lucky with both my children. DD has said "I hate you" a couple of times in the past (not in recent years though) and I don't take that personally.
Thanks for sharing.
BTW Sunday CW and I will be going on a 30 mile group bike ride. She is training for this weekend 100? mile state-wide group bike ride on the Pacific coast in August. I just want to get out and bike. Sunday night I'll be volunteering for the riverfront blues festival for it benefits the state food bank that feeds the hungry. Today I will be with my kiddos... once they get out of bed (not until the afternoon I would think LOL).
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
I just realized that *I* was a bratty teenage girl of a HW. Like I said in another post my father died when I was 14, and my mother basically reinvented herself and looked like Linda Evans. She was beautiful!
It was probably around the same time frame (3 years)... Its like you're just starting to recover, and feeling like your life is getting back to normal and then in walks someone to change it all again. Its hard. He didn't just have me to deal with.. he had my older and younger brother to deal with also. Here this guy had never been married, or had any children.
I have respect for him though. He looked past all of us and our troubles and just focused on loving my Mother regardless of all the drama that came along with her.
and by then, it was too late."
The bike ride sounds great!!
FWIW - my uncle's wife was widowed for 3 years before they started dating (she called him up to ask him about selling some of his personal items which was a shared hobby between her deceased husband and my uncle and then I guess there was this interest that developed after that). Their dating was a 2 year process or maybe more - I am not sure. And then they were married for 5 years before he found acceptance with his step daughter and she asked him to give her away at her wedding. My uncle is the shy/quiet type and was always patient. I guess it helps that he knew them a long time before the whole dating thing began.
So, it is a process. I am sure the girl is hurting from having to go through the whole process of losing her dad, watch her mom date and then navigate teen hood. I guess you just have to go along and not worry and know that in time she will accept you. It must be cool for her that you would have 2 older kids that would be fun to hang out with? At least I would think that way!!
It sounds like you will deal with that just fine with your approach of not judging AND that she did get attached to the last boyfriend - maybe that could mean you as well in time when things progress and work out? LOL!
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