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| Mon, 04-24-2006 - 1:57am |
If u don't know the history on this one u can read any posting I have on here...that will get you on track.
Ok ok, so we went to a company function today and wow was I suprised. Our bosses were there (actually they were hers and since she is above me....). So things were fine and I acted suprised to see her there (although we had already talked about meeting there).
The day was fun, it started around noon. Now to the story, the ex showed up around 400p (we work with him and he and I are friends). At this pt I felt akward (as stated in my other posts she sends me mixed signals sometimes and I didn't know what was going on) but ended up talking to him most of the time while she was busy. We ended up going to eat after the company function with a party of seven. Her, him, me, and a couple and their two daughters. I was sitting straight across from him and she was right next to him. I had no idea what to do exactly because I didn't know if they were back together or what. So I acted as normal and mature about the situation as I could and just started talking to him because he and I are good friends at work (his attention was completely on her although she was talking to her GF). The meal was fine and we all went our separate ways (Him and her sat in her car as I left).
I got home and couldn't even get the text msg sent (telling her thank you for inviting me and that I had felt somewhat akward) before she called. She asked if the situation was akward for me. I told her it was but that we were friends (he and I) and that I just tried to be normal not knowimg what was going on. She assured me (without me asking) that is was over between them. She was frustrated by some of his comments during their discussions and that he had irritated her yet again. I asked if he had wondered why I was there. Her response was that he had thought I was just there participating in the company function and that he had no other reason to think that I was there for any other purpose.
Obviously she thought about my feelings but why would she care so much if there was nothing between us? and she also knew that part of the reason for me coming was to hang out with her. Now, I know most of you have admonished me for being the way I am I guess, one of you had felt bad for me because u felt I was getting mixed signals. I'm young and completely un-experienced at this whole thing but I am pretty sure this was a phone call to someone she thinks of as more than a friend...I am not implying that she wants things to go any further than what they have (because she told me that she would let me know when that was) but I could swear that I have reached a status beyond friendship. Any thoughts?
ACES
If this works out for me in the long run...you are all going to get a picture or meet me because I want to thank you in person for all the advice you have given...

Well, it is certainly better that she called and said that she is not with the ex and expressed concern for you. But this is probably more about her irritation with him than you.
You just have to wait and see. I think you have to find something temporary to do to get your mind off of this so you don't go crazy. None of us can predict how it will turn out - only time will tell you.
Going slow is going to get you further along than going too fast which can take you out of the race. That is another reason to go for a run, play racquetball, wax your car, anything - do something to get your mind off of her and chill.
Aces,
It's so hard for any of us to say without knowing her. I know what I would have meant by calling you, but I would have called to make sure you were okay after such a stressful situation. And if I liked you, I so would have kissed you by now and then you would pretty much already know.
I think she is in the "deciding" mode and she doesn't want to chase you away yet she doesn't want to commit to you either. Which is why we are all suggesting for you not to be too overbearing.
But the fact that the ex went with you guys is weird. I wouldn't want to be anywhere around my ex like that, and if you and he were going to lunch, I would have said "No thanks".
My unanswerable question is: Was she there with you, and tolerating him because of you, or there with him? Do not ask her that, just judge for yourself.
And btw, our "reward" for this is seeing you happy and helping you, we know it's tough!
hugs,
--snow
Thanks Snow!
Well, the thing is that if she kisses me and things progress right now she might end up risking all that she worked for. She had her daughter and now is getting a promotion. She really isn't suppose to be involved with me at all right now.
The real test will be this AM when she comes over. I am going to make breakfast even though she said "u don't have to". If I am not mistaken that means no you don't have to but hey it would be nice. No flowers, the breakfast is enough I think. Then we head out to the foothills and we probably just wander around the park before heading to the new casino out that way (she like to play slots).
While my heart says kiss her (and GOD knows I want to to find out where I am with her) I trust most of you when you tell me to wait and let her lead. I figure that that might happen later today but then again who knows. She leaves May 16 and I guess the test will be whether or not I fly to see her. I mean, if she sets time aside on the weekend for me to come out and spend time with her then I would guess that things are progressing the way I want them to.
I realize I can't make her feel the way I do but I do fear that these nice things I do for her will be seen in her eyes as a "show". I am a genuinely romantic guy, a Libra at heart. I don't enjoy fighting and I am very laid back.
She has said that the last hockey player she dated she fell in love with and that he was very laid back. She hasn't said we are just friends. She talked to me about commuting back and forth. She hasn't said "no" to anything but then again she hasn't accepted a dinner invitation either yet (that being an actual "date"). My biggest fear is that later today she will come clean and tell me that things cannot progress. On the other hand, there is the part of me that thinks this day could be a great one and we might get that kiss out of the way. The situation would have to be PERFECT for me to take the lead but like I said I am not jumping to do so because I don't want to scare her off. Either way, I am going to be my true self, a little goofy, sarcastic (but not "biting" towards her at all) and I'm just going to have fun. After all I have to face reality...If things don't work out, I might have a friend for life as hard as that be for me to accept.
Thanks for everything ladies and wish me the best.
Next posting....wed night!
Aces