So I told my ex...
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| Sun, 12-12-2004 - 1:54pm |
That my boyfriend was going to be moving in come January. As the other parent, I believe that he's entitled to know about the major things that will affect his son's life, as I would want to know from his end as well. That way, we can voice any concerns we have, and watch our son's behaviour for any negative adjustments to the change, you know?
Anyways, he's known that I've been with someone and that we're very serious, and I made sure that he knew that the man I was with was good to our son, and wouldn't try to "take his place". So when I told him that my boyfriend and I were moving in together, he was ok with it, had no concerns about it, which was great.
I know if the situation was reversed, I wouldn't want some other woman thinking that she's going to fill my shoes, my son has a mom and a dad (even if his dad isn't the best role model LOL) So I assured him that we do talk about him in a positive way, encourage my son to talk about him and so forth. Whatever MY feelings are towards the man, I can't burden our son with them, he's half that person.
Anyways, I'm just happy that he was ok with things and didn't have any concerns. I did make sure that he understood that ANY man I was with would have to be respectful of our son or I woulnd't be with that man.
On the other side of things, my boyfriend is very happy with my son, has a good relationship with him. His parents split when he was about 7 and his mom was single for a few years until meeting the man she's still with, and he raised him and his brother as if they were his own. And his dad married a woman who had a son, so he can relate to my situation from two angles- me as a single mom, and having a dad who's not quite your own.
His family are all very wonderful people too, I was worried that they would maybe encourage him not to date a woman with a child (have had that happen) but they never did. In fact, they welcomed both of us with open arms.
Ok, enough of my ramble... LOL
Alison


Hi
I'm glad you didn't have any problems with your ex when he heard the news. It sounds like the two of you have good communication which is just so rare and so awesome. I know your son will only benefit from that!
I was also lucky that my bf's parents absolutely adore my kids and consider them their grandkids. His mom can be a little too much of a spoiler but I know her heart is in the right place.
I hope this move will be a positive one for you and your SO.
Good luck!
Tara