This is SO messed up!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
This is SO messed up!
6
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 1:29pm

Well, I went to court today. I just wanted all of this crap to be over with! But no! I didn't have my lawyer come with me b/c my goodness, it was just an ex parte hearing. But ex had his lawyer who contested the ex parte. He said that they are disputing the allegations in the document and want a hearing. Therefore, I have to go back to court for a hearing in 2 weeks.

I am scared.

They are going to make this about my dd when it fact it has nothing to do with her. This is not a custody battle, this is a restraining order battle. Why didn't he just consent to it and leave me alone? Why does he want to take every ounce of happiness away from me? Why does this man and his family hate me so much?

What do I do? Do I have a lawyer go with me in 2 weeks? His lawyer is going to paint as some monster and liar...and if I don't have any representation, what do I do?

Help me...

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 1:52pm

And...

I can't afford a lawyer. Mine won't help me out b/c I still owe him $400, which I can't pay right now. Legal aide won't help b/c they say they won't take over a "case" where another lawyer has left off. I don't understand that. My lawyer has nothing to do with my ex parte.

What do I do when they bring up the custody stuff in the hearing, which I don't think they should be able to, but they will. He will say that the only reason he was calling, coming over, following, etc. was to see his dd. Well...everytime I dropped her off and picked her up, per his demand, I was either physically, verbally, or emotionally assaulted! What do I do? I'm going into this blindly...I need help...I'm so frustrated and upset and just at a complete loss.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 4:07pm

So sorry.....but to top it all off, he brought the other woman to court with him. Now I have to look at both of them in class knowing they are gloating over all of this. I hate it! I feel like I'm being set up - aaggghh!

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 6:41pm

See if you can find another attorney that might represent you at a reduced rate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 7:30pm

Hi Kaitlyn02,

I'm not sure where you live or if you are close to a University. But...a lot of Universities with law programs have graduating students in programs that can provide assistance for these types of matters to the public...overseen by the head of the law department. I know when my parents divorced, my mom used one of these programs and when I was divorcing, I called around to a couple of diffent Universities and they offered a similar type of program. This may be an option for you at least to ask some questions. It is at least worth a try...

Call the university (State University) and ask for their legal department, ask if they have a legal assistance program that their graduating students can participate in, ask if someone is available to talk to you about your situation...who oversees it. It might not be your ultimate solution BUT it might be enough to get you over this current hurdle.

S~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 7:59pm

Please check out Recognizing and Dealing with Domestic Abuse board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rldomesting

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 8:46pm

Hi Kaitlyn,

You have excellent advice here from these ladies. Do not freak - stay in control. Do whatever you can to get an attorney. Make a big list on why you are getting the RO and explain that to the judge. Having everything documented is necessary and will get you through.

Visit the board for domestic violence as Deb suggests.

Good luck and keep us posted!

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