SO sleeping over?
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| Tue, 11-09-2004 - 12:24pm |
A couple weeks ago he came over after dd fell asleep. When we did this before and when he didn't leave that night, we usually sleep on the living room floor (hard wood floor, wool rug, not comfy). Well for whatever reason we thought it would work to sleep in my room and then he'd wake up real early and leave. Well dd woke up super early and would not go back to sleep. It was a weekday and I went through several scenarios to get my boyfriend out of the house without dd knowing, or get us out of the house first and tell her some story about who's car was parked in the driveway... but in the end I just realized it was too complicated and I told her a friend of mine slept over. As far as she knows he slept in my room but I slept in her room (I often fall asleep in her room and then I am up before her). So we got ready and invited him to breakfast and it was actually a nice morning. She is usually extremely shy around new people (even grandparents she hasn't seen in a while) but she was talkative with him and he kept making her laugh, it was cute.
Now my plan was not to have them meet this way. And I do not want my dd getting attached to anyone until there is a plan to get married or at least it's looking like that is likely, and I don't plan on living with anyone unless marriage is on the horizon. But it's also been hard keeping the two people most important in my life apart, not knowing each other. What I'd like is that there are some times when he comes over when dd is with me, but he not take a parenting type role. Just be friends hanging out together while she is there. We have not been affectionate in front of her, although now that they met he has come over a couple more times. The thing is that we still live a good distance from each other, about 25 miles, and it's really a pain for him to come over for just a few hours. Is it horrible if there is an occasion when he does sleep over? I am not going to have men in and out of my house on a regular basis. This is one man, whom I've been dating for a year, who I see potential for marriage and more children with, who is a good role model and a responsible person. I just don't know for certain if we will be married in the future, yet. Has anyone else had a SO sleep over when kids are in the home?


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WHY? Theory number one (my own) is that she is an evil witch of a woman. Theory number two (another one of my own) is that she was so ashamed of having an affair (she had an affair with a doctor, demanded a divorce, refused counseling, refused all efforts to try and save the marriage, and married the doctor 4 weeks after their divorce was signed) and getting a divorce being that she was a good Catholic girl - that she wanted to erase my husband and everything about him for her life - as she and her new husband shortly moved away. Honestly, had she not lost the court battle, I firmly believe she would have NEVER told husband's son (or anyone else that they met in the new city they moved to) that he was NOT her husband's son, or that she had been married before. When she moved out of state, my husband had to fight tooth and nail to see his son. He then moved out of their hometown, and she THEN filed abandonment papers (even though he had certainly NOT abandoned his son!) and it was ANOTHER court hearing. Fast forward to the present, son is 20, and has very little to do with his mother, at all, because he is learning the truth about what REALLY happened all of those years ago and wants nothing to do with her.
So - just so you know - your boyfriend isn't alone in this battle - others have had it.
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
Thank you for sharing that. It's possible my bf is the wrench in her making her life 'perfect.' Superficial perfection, that is. I know people like that exist, but it's so hard to get how someone can say a child does not need his father - especially when his father would give anything to be there for his child and when everyone agrees that he is a good father.
Even though there is so much animocity between the two of them, they have done a good job at keeping their son out of it. They do not talk poorly about each other in front of him, and he still has no idea about the custody battle and he didn't know about moving until it was certain. But I believe that when he is older he will learn for himself that his mother is the reason he was taken away from his father.
Edited 12/27/2004 10:28 am ET ET by firstamendment
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