sole custody and dating
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| Sun, 03-06-2005 - 10:23am |
Does anyone else have sole custody and very limited visitation? My kids are 12,9 and 5 and I have sole custody. My ex likes to take them overnight separately...he'll take the boys (9 & 5) on a Friday and my daughter (12) on Saturday. And usually brings them home early the next morning. I would soooooo love an entire weekend alone! The one man I have dated quite a bit wants so much more from me than I want to give up, not physically but in terms of time and attention. But because I feel pulled in so many directions and want some time for ME, lately I have found myself screening his calls and not telling him when I have time off, because all I want to do is maybe make popcorn and watch a movie alone, or sleep!! I don't know if I am being totally selfish or insane, this man adores me and treats me like a princess, and even wants to do things with my kids that their father doesn't, although he hasn't actually met them yet. Someday I know I WILL want that kind of relatinship and most men will probably turn and run when they realize how little time I have to give. Then I'll be wishing I had been less selfish now.
Anyway, I'm glad I found this board!

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Just a couple quick things to add...the man I am dating would LOVE to help with the kids, but he lives 2 hours away and they don't know I am dating anyone. Even though I've been separated 11 months 2 weeks now, legally I am still married to their father, and don't want to send the wrong message to them. Also, I know he is not "The One" for me so there's no need for them to meet.
I guess I'm also being very selfish, he and I want different things from our relationship. I want to have fun and date while keeping my options open, he wants to get married and raise my kids with me. It probably hurts him that I haven't let him meet them but I feel strongly about that. He just asked me yesterday if we could go (with or without kids) to Six Flags over Georgia this summer which is a huge amusement park, and I said I'd love to go but without the kids. He is endlessly patient and just said he understood and wanted it to be clear that when I am ready to include the kids in our relationship he is open to that. I just don't think I will ever be there with him, because of the things I talked about in my earlier posts. I guess I just need to be open and honest because I know our feelings are very different. On the other hand he is so fun and I don't want to lose the relationship altogether and being that he is 37 and never been married that is what he is looking for. I will be 41 next month and feel like, been there done that don't want to do it again!
Sorry I'm rambling, just thinking while I type!
Have a great Wednesday, everyone.
I relish the quiet when the boys are gone. Sometimes,I feel I just dont have what it takes to be in a relationship.....right now.
I was in a previous relationship with a man who was very busy with his work and it was perfect. We both understood from the beginning our time together was limited, we dated 3 years but broke it off for different reasons. Anyway, I am looking for advice too. Just wanted you to know I completely understand.
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