Some humor - maybe you can add?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Some humor - maybe you can add?
26
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 6:38pm

I decided to take notes on why my matches are not matches and started laughing.

- wears a very obvious toupee
- 46 and never married - and has 20 pictures all labeled with these silly photoshop fonts, "wayne's house" "wayne's baby" (his cat) and on and on
- redneck - bad redneck - races cars, has lots of tattoos, wears dirty tee shirts - wants a clean woman - LOL!!!!!!!
- has 4 kids and wants a woman whose kids don't live at home
- is 45 and wants 18 to 23 for fun discovery
- is separated - and says "coming out of a rocky longterm marriage just want someone to give me affection and have fun and not worry about the future"
- stem cell research - that is too spooky for me!!
- weird weird religion
- different culture, slicked back GREASY hair, bad teeth
- has huge curly mop of hair that matches his black furry dog in pic - LOL!!
- ugly ugly beard like Castro's
- separated
- travels all the time for work so thinks OLD is the way to meet someone
- wants to travel all the time - this is not such a bad thing - just not for me
- has the numbers 69 in his profile
- shirtless in pix and should not be shirtless in pix!
- 46,never married, hasn't shaved in about 7 days and wants you to be a good family girl that can get wild on the couch with him

LOL!! At least I have a sense of humor!! These guys are all too much. I think I should open a school for them- "how to be a better date" - can you just picture the classes?
- how to clean yourself up and dress nice
- dating etiquette
- grooming and directions to the dentist
- what girls DO NOT like to read or see in the profile

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 9:04pm

Oh - and here is one more that will give us all a laugh.

Men in their upper 40s and 50s - never been married - and they have the choice "someday" for want to have kids? What? In the next century? LOL!!!

Somehow I find it amusing - the idea of a 45 and never married sort who loves to travel and looks all hoity toity dressed up in his pix - to have a screaming baby that doesn't sleep and turns into a toddler that will smear ice cream all over his HDTV!!!!!!!! LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 10:28pm

-would be cute except for the STUPID TUFT OF HAIR on chin- not a goatee, just a tuft under the bottom lip


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 10:35pm
Oh, I found another one that would be cute- but he has a LINE of hair from the middle of his lip to his chin... doesn't SOMEONE in their life tell them they look idiotic????



Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 10:55pm
Mouche

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 11:12pm

I don't know - you would think they would realize that most women would not like such a thing. At least I don't.

Alison, your age group is younger- I would think you would have tons of good choices - but then you make me realize it is hard at any age.

I wish I could post the pic of the guy with the castro beard - it is hideous - he is much too old to have a grey scruffy thing like that on his face if he wants to attract "a beautiful and sensuous woman" as he writes in his profile.

I liken something like that to painting the kitchen a horrible lime green color when you are trying to sell your house. You might like that color - but very few other people do.

And we women have a lot of pressure on us for appearance - they want us to "go from jeans to an evening gown" and be "slender and sensuous" and "wow them and take their breath away" on their dates. A lot of them write that they believe in love at first sight!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 11:45pm

OMG GREAT THREAD FOR A GREAT LOL


and it reminded me of what a couple of g/f's have suggested to me after my stories of OLD and dating in general at my age (40s), that I could teach a class in OLD.


ROFL if it wasnt sooooo unikely!!

mom_uk2socal

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 12:12am

love at first sight
Doesn't that mean they get laid on the first night?


Yeah, I click NEXT anytime the guy wants someone substantially younger or thinner than he.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 12:30am
Yes- they all want "perfection" but aren't willing to put in the effort on themselves... I have a friend who's over 300lbs, but wants a "hot, slim babe" on his arm.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 12:40am
ok so I was inspired to check out men on match in my area and OMG. so far I've found cornholioXXX, beergutman, misterpotential, thenotoriusMRP, and Blackheart1010 (are you kidding?). I've also noticed that

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 1:07am

" Maybe this is Harry Potter and they wandered out of their portrait? "

ROTF!!!!!!! OMG - you are on a roll with the Harry Potter stuff - I guess one of these days I must read it. The last one you had was the "definitely not" comment - you always make me laugh so much.

And oh my goodness - I can't believe he had an erection in his picture!! That is too much - I would have reported him for that.

BTW - there is a crazy show on HBO that I ran across this evening on the porn industry. Apparently the porn industry has grown quite a bit - they said it tripled in the 90s. There are over 5000 married couples making 6 digit figures by having a webcam in their bedroom. And the porn industry in California generates over 30 billion in taxes for the state of California - where most of it is made. They said that 77% of the people who purchase and download porn over the internet are male and that 50% of them are married. Crazy! I had no idea the industry was that large - they even have an award ceremony in Las Vegas that is similar to the grammy awards.