Something I need to confess...
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| Mon, 09-08-2008 - 5:55am |
This is regarding Heartbreaker, and it is very sexual and explicit.. so there is your warning.
I left out some major details of what happened between he and I thursday night, but its really really freaking me out. In fact when I wrote that post friday morning I didn't realize the damage that had been done either, I was just really very sore and figured it was the alcohol.
So, with Heartbreaker claiming how much he's changed, and demanding control over his life and such... there was one major change that I experienced that night. I don't know if he is in the middle of some midlife crisis that I'm being wrapped up into or what is going on here...
Anyway.. here it goes. Yes we had sex, I stated in the other post that I spent the night. So anyway Friday I was very sore.. I touched my face and I was sore, I touched my neck and I was sore. So I went to go look at my body and I had two bruises on my face, one on my neck, one on each shoulder, two bruised bite marks, and two spots where he drew blood. In a very slight and small defense of him he said several times... am I hurting you, I don't want to hurt you. I think between the alcohol and being so happy to be back in his bed I was just numb to what was happening. I remember hearing my hair break he was pulling it so hard... just not a good memory that night.. not at all. Also something I noticed that morning was his top drawer of his side table looked like he robbed a sex toy shop.
This is all so different from the man I was so crazy about. This is the man who was so sweet, and affectionate and unbelievably attentive to every whim and need of mine.. great sweet wonderful sex. When I say things were perfect, they really were.
I don't know what to think of this. I'm worried that he's going through something really serious, or maybe it was the alcohol. I don't know if I should be running for my life or at least giving him a chance to explain himself more. I mean, I can hang with some rough sex.. but if thats a 10 then we need to bring it down to like a 6 lol.
He did text me today that he's been very sick feeling since that night and we'll get together this week. I am so cautious of this guy now.. both physically and emotionally. I don't know I am just shocked that someone can change THAT much. It was very angry feeling.. all the sweet and beautiful was just gone. I've never in my life had a sexual experience like that and I am very freaked out.
I'm sorry if this was to graphic, I really needed to get it off my chest and share. I will be talking to him about it, I just am worried that this could be a sign of something more serious that he's going through.

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JH
HI TJ,
I know im chiming in here late but I wanted to commend you on your strength to post about it. Sometimes its harder to admit to ourselves something has gone really wrong. I think you see that and please dont second guess anything, and most of all please dont make excuses for his actions ie the alcohol. Hes got something short circuiting right now and your safest path is away from his. Please remember it wont be "fixed" for him...if anything its a precursor. Im just happy you are safe and most of all your eyes and heart are open to what happened...listen to your gut chica....
Stay safe!!!
(((((HUGS)))))
M
Just checking in with you. I know you are supposed to be talking to HB this week. Stay strong and keep listening to your gut. It warned you for a reason. OK?
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