Sorry, I've been such a heel...

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sorry, I've been such a heel...
14
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 6:23pm

I know, I know....... I have dropped from the face of single mothers and dating.... However, I am sooooooooooo busy with this move to NC, that I am just going nuts! 6 more weeks to go ladies, 6 more weeks to go!

Ok, a little update:

I went back to N.C. and actually saw the guy that I was sooo into, remember? The one that was so awesome and then started turning wierd? The guy I was so bummed out about recently? Welll, he knew I was in town, so he ended up at my door step, because he knew where my Aunt lived. To make a long storie short, he talked me into going out and discussing everything. I thought he was acting a bit strange (off the wall) but I agreed. He told me to get dressed up, I did, we went to this ritzy chick place and the second we got their he disappeared in the bathroom. Left me standing. Came back and he was just out of it within 5 minutes. Going up the walls and everything. I watched his eyes and the were TOTALLY dialated. I mean blue eyes turned black. 20 minutes later he's running to the bathroom again. When he came back I was outside and upset, I told him he was a loser, hailed a taxi and left him standing. Coke head. UGH! totally disgusting. Never never never. And that LADIES, was that.

Otherwise, I've been back on the online dating thing and continuing the friendship with the guy I was dating in NC during my vacation. Younger guy. Nothing serious, just a really nice guy and I had a great time with him. We related really well and became pretty good buddies. However, it was only vacation and not the REAL thing, so we do stay in contact, but more on a friends basis. We never discuss dating furhter. He does call me and we do chat a few days the week for a few minutes and then we go about our merry way. I did wig out on him this weekend because I was so down and I needed to talk to someone and he didn't answer my calls or get back in touch with me until late tonight my time. Told me he didn't want to talk to anyone this weekend, because he was sick. Wanted to know why I thought he might be angry with me, just because he didn't call back in 2 days and that I was being way to stressed and needed to relax. Ok, I felt like an idiot, because I had already been totally frazzled and crying. Not to him, but a few minutes prior. Everything this weekend was just going so wrong and I just wanted to vent and since everyone else wasn't around, I wanted to vent to him (really good listener, has 7 sisters, only brother, so he knows what we are like). When will I ever learn not to vent to a guy? LOL. I once again feel stupid. LOL. Oh well, he'll get over it.

The vent is: Will I ever have my peace and quiet!? LOL. I had the worst weekend, had an awful migrane that has lasted a week and I am on my period, so it made everything worse. Do you know what I mean? It means the slightest things even set me off. However, nothing was slight this weekend. I dealt with both X's, my car is partially wrecked due to my kids and this move is becoming an absolute disasterous nightmare. I actually have dreams of strangling my mom, because she won't shut up. I can't seem to breath. She is driving me to the brink and the kids are getting so bored without toys and stuff to do (everything is packed). Therefore they are getting themselves in SO much mischief.

UGH! I am also having the worst time finding a job while I am still here in Germany. I'm starting to panic. Daycare waitlist is still not a 100%, no bites on the resume, so I'm starting to get worried. I have NEVER not had bites before. This is a first! What is stopping them? Maybe it's all to soon still? I just don't get it. Any tips?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 6:50am

OMG! I can't believe he was doing drugs practically right in front of you. I'm glad you already had a sense that could happen, and that during dinner wasn't your first clue he had a problem.

I hope the job search turns around. Maybe companies are looking for people who are available now, and as your move date gets closer you'll get more inquiries? Are you still working with a recruiter?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 07-11-2005 - 7:31am

Hey Cat,

Glad to see you back. Sorry to hear about your woes - you really do have a lot of challenging things on your plate right now. Good grief - can't believe that guy would be so ridiculous.

Keep us posted - I know it will always work out - you always manage to pull everything through and I know you will.

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 7:10am

I know! I couldn't BELIEVE IT! I mean, I had that gut instinct and went with it, but I didn't KNOW, ya know? But low and behold. Bulls eye!

How can such succesful grown people get wrapped up into that sort of thing. The worst is, I heard it seems to be OVERLY popular in that area. YIKES! I have now listed in my profile for men NOT to apply if they: don't like kids, do drugs, alcohol, tempers, jealousy, etc. etc. I have listed a list. Wonder how that is going to go over. lol.

I am somewhat working with recruiting companies, but mainly doing this with other separate private companies. I keep thinking that I rather have someone go over my CV and double check everything. I want it soooooooo perfect. I know I could market myself so much better with the experience I have, but I seem to lack the knack of it, after being out of the country 10yrs. My english feels it's gone to sh**- lol. I keep second guessing, etc. That is AWFUL. I used to be an ace and now I am so unsure of myself. I definitely cannot wait to get back to school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 7:26am

That is amazing Cat.

I think you should word that positive in your profile - I am a clean person with no drugs or alcohol and I love children and seek a like-minded person on these matters.

Just my 2 cents worth - maybe I have been reading 2 many profiles ;)

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 7:32am
Your right. I should. I didn'T think about how that came across, but it does seem bit**y. lol. I have an awful tendency to come across as a stuck up princess anyway, sooooo, I guess I could try to be a bit more friendly. lol. I just tend to right like I take no BS. However, I already have way to many coffee dates, so maybe I am still doing something right. haha.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 10:54am

Employers will probably respond after you move here. I've been in on the interview process with out of town applicants. You always wonder if they will ever really make the move and you're skeptical if they really want to work for your company or if they just need a job anywhere.

I hope you find something good (soon).

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 11:11am
They have my new address and my new telephone (it connects to me here in Germany) and I don't state that I am in Germany, but I do say I am under contract until the end of August. Maybe that could be a reason? But that is 6 weeks from now! Surely some of these companies don't need to hire someone RIGHT away, or?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 11:30am
OIC. It probably is the 6 week thing. I'm sure you'll get some interviews as the date gets closer. That's very stressful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 12:50pm

I think it is definitely the 6 week thing. Most companies don't hire until they don't have someone - it is usually last minute - need it right now kind of thing.

I don't think you should say that your contract has expired or will be expiring.

If I was you I would wait until you are closer to your move date and don't put a date on it. Just get the interview. Most companies know you have to give a 2 week notice and they could even be stretched to 3 or 4 weeks. You are going to lose leverage in bargaining if they realize you don't have a job by x date.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 2:48pm

Hi Cat,
I look through 100's of resumes a day and I can tell you that I usually don't look at candidates who are not from the local area or who are not available right away, unless there is something about their resume that screams out to me. Two week's notice is typical here in the states, so many employers are looking for folks who can start within two weeks.

Here are a couple of tips for you: if you are applying to small/med size companies- tailor your resume to match the needs of the position and always include a cover letter that tells why you are a good fit for the position. Don't make it a generic letter -really focus and address what they're looking for and how you can meet it. If you're applying to larger size companies- include key words in your resume that will be searched out by a computerized search engine. Use the job description as your key and include words that match your skills For example: words like "EXCEL, ACCESS, 10-KEY, PBX, SAP" etc are keywords the computer searches for and returns the resumes with the most matches to the recruiter.

Are you looking on job boards such as monster.com, careerbuilder.com, hotjobs.com? Also your state's job bank will have listings. Here is the one for North Carolina http://www.ncesc.com/ Americas job bank is: http://www.jobsearch.org/ Also post your resume on these sites, because employers can search resumes for what they are looking for too. Many good recruiters search for passive candidates.

If you still don't have anything lined up when you get here, try a recruitment agency or a temp agency. They can place you in something right away and get you started. Many times these jobs lead to permanent positions if you are a good fit. Plus you make a connection with a recruiter and you start to network. If you are one of their prize people, they will continue to contact you in the future when juicy jobs come up.

Many well wishes to you on this brave journey! And congrats on getting rid of the loser drug addict, what a waste!

Gabriella

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