Sorry, I've been such a heel...
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| Sun, 07-10-2005 - 6:23pm |
I know, I know....... I have dropped from the face of single mothers and dating.... However, I am sooooooooooo busy with this move to NC, that I am just going nuts! 6 more weeks to go ladies, 6 more weeks to go!
Ok, a little update:
I went back to N.C. and actually saw the guy that I was sooo into, remember? The one that was so awesome and then started turning wierd? The guy I was so bummed out about recently? Welll, he knew I was in town, so he ended up at my door step, because he knew where my Aunt lived. To make a long storie short, he talked me into going out and discussing everything. I thought he was acting a bit strange (off the wall) but I agreed. He told me to get dressed up, I did, we went to this ritzy chick place and the second we got their he disappeared in the bathroom. Left me standing. Came back and he was just out of it within 5 minutes. Going up the walls and everything. I watched his eyes and the were TOTALLY dialated. I mean blue eyes turned black. 20 minutes later he's running to the bathroom again. When he came back I was outside and upset, I told him he was a loser, hailed a taxi and left him standing. Coke head. UGH! totally disgusting. Never never never. And that LADIES, was that.
Otherwise, I've been back on the online dating thing and continuing the friendship with the guy I was dating in NC during my vacation. Younger guy. Nothing serious, just a really nice guy and I had a great time with him. We related really well and became pretty good buddies. However, it was only vacation and not the REAL thing, so we do stay in contact, but more on a friends basis. We never discuss dating furhter. He does call me and we do chat a few days the week for a few minutes and then we go about our merry way. I did wig out on him this weekend because I was so down and I needed to talk to someone and he didn't answer my calls or get back in touch with me until late tonight my time. Told me he didn't want to talk to anyone this weekend, because he was sick. Wanted to know why I thought he might be angry with me, just because he didn't call back in 2 days and that I was being way to stressed and needed to relax. Ok, I felt like an idiot, because I had already been totally frazzled and crying. Not to him, but a few minutes prior. Everything this weekend was just going so wrong and I just wanted to vent and since everyone else wasn't around, I wanted to vent to him (really good listener, has 7 sisters, only brother, so he knows what we are like). When will I ever learn not to vent to a guy? LOL. I once again feel stupid. LOL. Oh well, he'll get over it.
The vent is: Will I ever have my peace and quiet!? LOL. I had the worst weekend, had an awful migrane that has lasted a week and I am on my period, so it made everything worse. Do you know what I mean? It means the slightest things even set me off. However, nothing was slight this weekend. I dealt with both X's, my car is partially wrecked due to my kids and this move is becoming an absolute disasterous nightmare. I actually have dreams of strangling my mom, because she won't shut up. I can't seem to breath. She is driving me to the brink and the kids are getting so bored without toys and stuff to do (everything is packed). Therefore they are getting themselves in SO much mischief.
UGH! I am also having the worst time finding a job while I am still here in Germany. I'm starting to panic. Daycare waitlist is still not a 100%, no bites on the resume, so I'm starting to get worried. I have NEVER not had bites before. This is a first! What is stopping them? Maybe it's all to soon still? I just don't get it. Any tips?

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Gabriella,
That is awesome advice - we are so lucky to have an HR expert among us!!!!
Judy
thanks Judy! I thought of 2 more things for Cat to consider:
1) We use the term "resume" for C.V.'s in the states. If I see someone refer to CV or curriculum vitae, I automically assume they are from out of the country- so you might want to try referring to it as a resume.
2) If you are stating salary history and/or salary requirements, keep in mind the cost of living difference between where you are now and where you're moving too...it could make a big difference.
Thanks soooooooooo much for the great tips. One other thought. You mentioned salary....
when a company asks you to state your salary preference straight up. How do you go about making sure they don't dump you straight off the bat? I don't want to undersell myself, but I don't want to seem selfish. What is the balance to this?
Thanks,
Catherine
You're welcome!
The salary game is a very tricky little dance. Most well established companies will have a salary range that they pay for a position. When I ask an applicant about their salary expectations, it’s because I genuinely need to know if I can’t afford them. If I have a job that pay maximum $36K and they are asking $50K, there is no way that is going to happen.
So my best advice is to honestly assess what you can live with. Decide what your bottom line is and then shoot for 10 or 15% more. When the employer asks what your salary expectations are give them a range, for example: “I’m expecting to earn between 40 and 50K. This is negotiable of course, depending on benefits and other incentives offered.”
If an employer can’t pay what you need at minimum, they will usually pass on you. If they offer you the bottom of the range, you can ask about benefits and other incentives, and then play the game of negotiation.
Trust me, by the time they have decided to make you an offer they have bought into you. They are invested in getting you to accept their offer, so that is the time to negotiate. But negotiate fairly…because if you do ask for too much, you may lose the offer.
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