A sort of etiquette question
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| Mon, 02-21-2005 - 10:08am |
Do you correct a person that doesn't know you very well when they refer to your ex as your husband?
Here's the situation:
I took the kids to a classmate's birthday party yesterday. Her parents are extremely nice people, but they don't know us very closely. They've seen the kids with me or with their father, and sometimes together at school functions. So I was talking to the mom yesterday, and she said "Oh, your husband (blah, blah)..." I first wanted to say "He's my ex-husband", but then thought it might embarrass her and it really didn't matter that much, in that particular situation.
I have corrected their teachers before, because I think it's more important for them to know the kids have two homes they spend time in. Sometimes I refer to my ex as "the boys' father", and some people pick up on that, but not always.
So, what do you do? Do you keep your mouth shut if it's not a big deal? Do you speak up? Do you care? : )
Thanks,
Galina

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I figured you probably lurked. I just like when you "De lurk" ;)
I am doing great. After suffering about a month of pretty bad "all day" sickness and bronchitis (which I am sure you read) which kept my pretty quiet around here, I am feeling so much more human! I eat meals now, and don't get sick. That is SUCH a relief!!! Now I've just got to be careful I don't eat TOO much.
The pregnancy seems to be going well. I have a Dr's appt. this morning (can't wait!) and hope to hear a heartbeat. You start to get antsy at this stage to get proof that all's well still, as there's still no movement that I can feel. But I am growing, so something must be ok. Last pregnancy was already going downhill at this point. I'd had a big bleed at 9 weeks, and then that trip by ambulance to the ER at 15 weeks. I hit 13 tomorrow and am already feeling much more pregnant than the last time. So, that's a good sign to me!
Thanks for asking. Glad you're well.
I DEFINITELY care. I make it a point to correct anyone that refers to my ex as my husband. Of course he lives in another state, but sometimes, I still get called "Mrs. Cameron" and I simply say politely, "Dylan's father and I are no longer married, I am remarried now. My last name is Young." It's not ever rude to let someone know they made a mistake in identifying you as long as you put it nicely.
Mel
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Hi
Unless it's someone i'm never going to see again, I say something. I don't want to be associated with my ex in that way. It's really annoying when I get called "Mrs. W..." though that I tend to ignore more because some people don't like the "Ms." thing. Hey, sometimes the kids at the school call me "Mr. W", the little ones. ha, so I guess that's one step up.
Tara
Well, the name thing doesn't really apply here, because I kept my married name (for various reasons). It really isn't a big deal, I was just wondering how others were handling it. Thanks all for your replies.
Galina
Ohh good luck at the doctors today!! I loved hearing the heartbeat. So much so that with my first son, I worked in the ICU and I used to take the doppler (we used it to listen for pulses in the feet) and listened to his heartbeat all the time!
Why did I think you were further along that 13 weeks though? Well, I'm glad you're feeling better now at least. I had pneumonia with my 2nd pregnancy (with a 15 month running around too)...that was not fun at all!!
Get your rest and take it easy!! I truly am so happy for you!!!
Hugs
Deb
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